


The Perfect Day

by emilia_kaisa, FatyGSquare, ForeverDoesntExist, Junliet, K1mHeechu1, kabigon, Mary_the_gardener, Sehnyusucht, whosays_penultimate



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Groundhog Day, M/M, Other tags to be added, TagChallenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:21:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24406468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilia_kaisa/pseuds/emilia_kaisa, https://archiveofourown.org/users/FatyGSquare/pseuds/FatyGSquare, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForeverDoesntExist/pseuds/ForeverDoesntExist, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Junliet/pseuds/Junliet, https://archiveofourown.org/users/K1mHeechu1/pseuds/K1mHeechu1, https://archiveofourown.org/users/kabigon/pseuds/kabigon, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mary_the_gardener/pseuds/Mary_the_gardener, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sehnyusucht/pseuds/Sehnyusucht, https://archiveofourown.org/users/whosays_penultimate/pseuds/whosays_penultimate
Summary: Nothing is perfect. There are perfect moments and imperfect ones.Well, nothing is perfect except for this
Relationships: Javier Fernández/Yuzuru Hanyu
Comments: 94
Kudos: 185





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a collaboration between several authors and more names will be added as the story goes on. Every person who writes a chapter tags the person who writes the next one, and so on. The chapters will be connected, so it will read like a single story :)

_ Thursday, 12th of March 2016 _

The woman sitting across the table from him smiled at him mysteriously. Of course, Javier reasoned half-drunk, it was easy to have a ‘mysterious smile’ under the freaky lighting of the pub, especially after a few drinks, but he couldn’t help thinking that the woman’s smile was in some way....unsettling. He almost turned and went back to his mates – the ones who pushed him – well, rather harassed him – into talking to her in the first place. ‘ _Come on, Javi, you’ve been single for months now, this isn’t like you.’ ‘It’s when a dog doesn’t eat, you know’, ‘We’re getting worried, Javi, please restore balance to the universe.’_ Javier had snickered, they were all drunk and it seemed like a good idea at the time. _Who, her?_ he asked, pointing to a woman with dyed hair and a sparkling red dress, who was eyeing him from the bar. _She’s been staring at you all night, Javi, so she obviously wants you. Go get lucky, man._

So Javier had staggered over to her.

“Hi”, he said brightly, swaying slightly on his feet. “Want some company?”

The woman had merely smiled mysteriously.

“Well, I guess, that means no”, Javier figured. “Sorry to bother.”

“Wait”, the woman said. “What do you want?”

Her look was a little too intent and Javier felt momentarily thrown off. _What did he want?_ Good question, um? More beer, perhaps? To win the World Championships? A _girlfriend?_

He snorted, rather inelegantly.

“I just want a good time”, he shrugged.

“That’s too bad...”, the woman said wistfully. “Because I can only show you a _perfect time_.”

Javier gaped at her. Was he really about to get lucky?

“Do you mean it?”

“Oh yes. But only if you _want_. I can give you the perfect day.”

Javier’s smile widened.

“Hell yeah I want.”

“Well, if you’re sure..”, the woman smiled coyly. “It just so happens that I can grant wishes, and a kiss would seal the deal...”

_ Friday, 13th of March 2016 _

Javier should have realized that something was wrong when the alarm clock rang for a couple of seconds, and then abruptly stopped. Javier greeted the silence with a grateful sigh, turned over in bed and fell asleep again immediately.

His eyes opened of their own accord a couple of hours later. He yawned, stretched and reached for his phone, his eyes widening when he saw the time. With a colourful curse, Javier skipped out of bed. Brian was gonna kill him. _How could I have slept through the alarm, it usually wakes me from the dead,_ it crossed his mind briefly.

At the sudden movement, his hungover suddenly asserted its rights. He groaned, his head feeling heavy. _Shit, I should really stop drinking in the middle of the week._ He was just digging out an Advil when the pressure on his head lightened. He waited a few seconds, but it seemed that indeed his pain was abruptly gone. He shrugged – _I guess oversleeping has its benefits_ , he thought - and replaced the pill.

Without wasting any more time, he made for the shower.

_Oh great!_ he thought. Now _I get great water pressure, just when I can’t take the time to enjoy it. Ugh, it figures._

He scrubbed quickly, and almost spilled the entire contents of his shower gel on the bathroom floor when he squeezed the container too vigorously.

_Puta madre,_ he mumbled _, I could’ve sworn this bottle was nearly finished, but it’s almost full?!_

Javier finished his shower in record time and then attempted the feat of drying his hair while getting out the food for Effie. He kissed the cat who was sleeping on the cupboard, unusually quiet:

“Hola chica, food is ready!”

He eyed Effie a little worried, as the cat woke up but still sat there just watching as Javier hopped around the room trying to put his pants on, and collect his stuff at the same time.

“You’re not ill, are you sweetheart? Usually you’re rubbing against my feet and making me trip all over you in the mornings.”

He rubbed Effie under her chin, and she started purring contently, so he supposed she was fine.

“Don’t you want to eat?” Javier asked her, and even though he was running late, he actually took the time to lift her food bowl and show it to her, before putting it back on the floor. “Come on, here it is!”

As if on cue, Effie climbed off the cupboard and went slowly to the foodbowl, where she began eating sedately.

Javier’s eyes narrowed.

“Huhh. Oookay then. Are you sure you’re my crazy Effie?”

He shook himself, he had more pressing business instead of indulging in crazy thoughts of someone replacing his cat overnight. Such as getting to the rink before Brian arrived to throttle him.

He hurriedly went out of the apartment, just in time to see his pretty next door neighbour enter her own apartment with her dog on a leash. She smiled and winked at Javier as he mouthed “good morning”, and Javier blushed and gave her a nervous laugh, gesturing that he was late. She nodded and watched him as he hurried along the hallway, which made Javier a little unsettled. It was the first time she had paid him such attention, and he suspected she already had a boyfriend.

“This day is weird”, he reflected. “What’s next?”

His question was answered when he stepped outside and an unexpected wave of hot air hit him.

“What on earth?” Javier wondered. Yesterday it was chilly, as expected in fact for an early spring day in Toronto, and today it felt like the beginning of summer in Spain. Which was nice of course, if he could really _be in Spain._ In fact, he often wished for a milder, sunnier weather, but _not like this._ He was already dressed in his parka and boots and going back to change would make him even more unforgivably late. He cringed as he imagined getting on the crowded bus in such clothes. As he debated how to solve his predicament, a car pulled abruptly on the pavement. Javier went pale as he recognized Brian’s car.

_Shit, I’m screwed._

Seriously, can this day get any worse?

Brian came out of the car, and greeted Javier cheerfully, grabbing his stuff and putting it in the trunk, and motioning at him to get in. He said nothing to Javier, and looked at him only to give him a somewhat restrained smile, and Javier’s heart clenched in anxiety.

_Damn, he’s really mad at me._

In an uncomfortable silence, Brian started the car. By the time he swerved onto the main street, Javier could no longer take it.

“Brian, please, shout, get mad, but just don’t give me the silent treatment like this!”

Brian looked at him quickly, and gestured to his face.

“Look, I’m sorry!” Javier went on, “I know I’m horribly late but I had a late one last night, and I was very tired and I didn’t hear the alarm, I know that’s not an excuse but when I woke up it was already so late, and I tried to hurry but.....”

Brian made a vague sound and gestured more vigorously towards his face.

“Mhhpfh – tooth – ache”, he managed, without opening his mouth.

Looking more carefully at Brian, Javier realized his jaw looked a bit swollen.

“Hurts when I speak”, Brian mumbled miserably.

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry!” Javier said feelingly. “That’s awful. Get better soon! Maybe you should go home and rest?”

Brian gave him a look and waved his hand like that was not in the cards.

“Are you very mad at me, though?” Javier couldn’t help asking.

Brian shook his head from side to side in a definite _no_. He clapped Javier on the shoulder like he had just landed a perfect 4S, with as much of a smile as his tortured jaw could manage, and turned his attention back to driving.

Javier started at him.

“...No?” he echoed. “But....but-“, he sputtered and fell silent, frowning.

What was his problem anyway? Did he want Brian to be mad at him? No, of course not, but.... this was weird.

Brian looked back at him with another smile, and clapped him on the back again, ruffling his hair and patting his arm.

Right. Definitely weird.

Things got even weirder when they arrived at the club. Javier Raya stopped him in the hallway.

“Hey man, I was looking for you. Here’s the 20 dollars I owe you.” He took the money out of his training pants and handed it over to Javier.

“Thanks...”, Javier mumbled, a little lost. Javi Raya owed him for more than a year now, which had become like a joke between them of how he’d never pay it back. Javi Raya patted him on the back and went off.

Javier shrugged, he didn’t know why, but that irked him. Sure, he thought of that money sometimes when he ran out of his own, but he still didn’t think they were worth them not being able to joke around about it anymore.

Well, at least he had money for coffee and a sandwich now. It was almost noon and he hadn’t eaten anything, so he was hungry. The ice could wait a little longer, especially since Brian appeared to be in such an agreeable mood today. Or maybe just high on painkillers. Javier cringed, it wasn’t nice of him to take advantage of his coach’s vulnerable state, but there he was.

As he approached the cafeteria, the waitress greeted him by name.

“Javi! No no no”, she pushed Javier’s money away, “today it’s on me, I insist! You’re a regular client, aren’t you? So tell me, what would you like?”

“Ummm, okay? Haha, thank you!” Javier smiled, a little awkwardly, and gave the order.

At least the coffee was good. Scratch that, it was _fantastic._ Javier licked his lips, the day got just a little brighter.

“Hey, Molly!” he called. “Great coffee!” he praised, with a grin and a thumbs up, and got a bright smile and a nod in return.

Someone sat next to him as he was finishing his sandwich. It was Gabrielle.

“Hey, Javi”, she said cheerfully, “mind if I join you? I have great news!”

“Not at all, Gaby, hi! What’s up?”

“It’s about that cat you found last week, the one you gave me to foster?”

“Yeah!”

“Found him a home today!”

“Really?” Javier’s face brightened. “I’m so glad!”

“Yup!” Gabrielle repeated smugly. “He’s getting bundled up and sent this evening!” She grinned, but then abruptly her eyes filled with tears. “I’m super happy!” she insisted, even as she wiped her tears. “But I – hm, well, I guess I got so attached to the little fucker!”

Javier’s heart squeezed in his chest.

“Oh, Gaby! But I thought you said you couldn’t keep him for long.”

“No yeah, you’re definitely right, I couldn’t, I couldn’t have”, Gabrielle said, as if wanting to convince herself, shaking her head resolutely. “So that’s good really, it’s better this way.”

She was nodding now, trying to smile, so Javier nodded as well, uncertainly, his heart squeezing in sympathy.

Somehow strengthened by the coffee, but still thinking about Gabrielle and the kitten, Javier went in the locker room to get his gear. Somewhat distracted, he almost tripped over a cable and fell.

Javier swore under his breath.

There were actually several cables and the locker room was filled with cameras.

When he entered, all the cameras turned to him, almost blinding him, but then, just as quickly they were lowered.

“Not the one you’re waiting, for, eh?” Javier couldn’t help sniping, with some measure of bitterness.

He sat down and tried to ignore them as he started to take off his shoes. He couldn’t help mumbling in Spanish under his breath:

“Yuzuru’s _entorno_. Fucking vultures. Can’t even get some privacy in the locker room”.

_Here’s hoping you don’t get the shots you want,_ his thought process continued with mutinous annoyance. _Get a real story to write about, why don’t you._

Javier barely finished his thought process, than a shout was heard, followed by loud bangs. He sprang up, on instinct. The media people also stood at attention, uncertain whether they should abandon their posts.

Those bangs were very loud and sounded metallic, Javier reflected as he ran out of the locker room in a hurry, hopping along with one shoe off and the other one in his hand, and took a few turns until he reached the elevator. There were shuffles behind him and he realized a few camera people were following in his tracks. He almost turned around to yell at them to be off, but then he realized he may need some extra help.

The bangs were getting louder, and now Javier could distinguish the words: “Hello, help please!” said the voice, and Javier would have known even if he hadn’t recognized the voice that it was Yuzuru, because only he could be so polite in what looked like an emergency situation.

“Yuzu?” Javier called out, as he approached the elevator. There was a hole in the wall where the elevator should be and as he approached and looked up, he could see the cabin stuck a little above their floor. “Are you trapped in there?” he asked.

“Javi”, he heard Yuzuru’s voice, now laced with some relief. “Yes... stuck.”

“Are you alone in there? Is there an emergency phone?”

“Alone yes. No phone. I press red button and nothing happens.”

“Okay, I’m gonna go find someone. Stay calm and don’t press any more buttons.”

Javier could hear Yuzuru’s panicked intakes of breath, followed by a nervous chuckle.

“I’m very scared, Javi”, he pronounced, like that was a weakness he wasn’t proud of, but which he readily admitted.

Javier’s heart broke a little.

“It’s gonna be okay, Yuzu, don’t worry.”

“Please, don’t leave, I’m scared.”

“Do you have your phone?”

“Battery almost dead so I can’t use. And no light here.”

Javier sighed, then turned towards the people who had followed him with cameras.

“Go get help!” he shouted at them.

They hesitated, perhaps sensing a really good story.

“Now, go!” Javier yelled.

They talked among themselves, two of them went, while the others stayed behind, with the cameras still recording. Javier scoffed and turned his back on them ostentatiously.

“Yuzu, I’m here. I’m not leaving but I’m just gonna call Brian and ask him about the maintenance of this building, so we can get someone sent here faster. He must know.”

Two hours later, the elevator was still stuck, and no one had yet arrived, although they promised to be there as soon as possible.

Yuzuru wasn’t doing okay. In his panic, he was beginning to press buttons, although everyone advised him against it. Javier watched horrified as the cabin shook on its hinges and slipped down a few inches but still remained stuck. The elevator rattled again and there was a sound like the doors were starting to open, but still nothing gave.

“I’m close to floor, I can force doors open and climb out”, Yuzuru called out, voice shaking.

“I don’t think you should, Yuzu”, Javier said, uneasy. “If the doors open, you can fall out.”

“Javi, there is only little until floor!”

“It’s dangerous, Yuzu, better just wait.”

“I don’t feel well”, Yuzuru spoke in barely a whisper. “And I don’t have inhaler with me.”

The camera people pressed closer. Incredibly, they were still here.

Javier turned to them abruptly, venting his frustration:

“Look, please go. Just go! You’re not gonna get anything today. You—“, and then he remembered how he wished they wouldn’t get the shots they wanted, and how he wished they’d get to cover a _real story_ instead.

Something like this perhaps? This might make a real story.

Javier felt sick. He brought a suddenly sweaty palm to his forehead, as he tried to control his wave of nausea.

“I’ll be right back, Yuzu”, he called out, and rushed in the direction of the bathroom.

“Javi....??” Yuzuru’s voice came at him plaintively, but Javier just hurried on, in a panic.

In the bathroom, Javier bent over the tap and thirstily drank directly from it, not caring about germs or anything. The cold water made him feel a little better.

He sighed deeply, as he wiped his mouth.

“I just wish I knew what the fuck was going on”, he spoke to his reflection in the mirror.

Then he bent over the sink to splash some water on his face.

When he straightened, there was a woman right behind him.

Javier jumped a mile.

“Phew, you scared me. What um – excuse me-“

“You’re having the perfect day”, the woman told him.

The woman’s tone was even, but Javier took it as the world’s best joke.

“Haha, it shows, doesn’t it? Yeah! I’ve been having the worst day today, it’s just....one of _those_ days, you know?”

He shook his head self-deprecatingly and rolled his eyes.

The woman frowned like Javier was going off script.

“No, the perfect day”, she corrected him seriously. “You’re having the perfect day. At least you should be.”

“Uh, excuse me!” Javier said, a little ticked off. “I think I’d know what kind of day I’m having, better than some stranger, thank you very much! And I don’t think I asked for your opinion anyway so...”

“You asked. You wished to know what was going on. I was just explaining to you.”

Javier’s eyes almost popped out of his sockets as he looked at the woman more carefully.

“Hey, I know you, you’re the girl from last night! Who said she can grant wishes! You said a kiss would seal the deal but... But....that was just flirting, like a flirty joke, right? Come on! It was all for giggles, we were all drunk, you can’t expect me to believe...”

“You are blessed – or cursed, however you wanna put it, to have the perfect day. The perfect day means getting your every wish, which is exactly what you’ve been getting so far.”

“...That’s stupid”, Javier argued for the sake of it, although he still had a hard time believing it. “Because I can’t possibly get _my every wish_ during _one single day_. And sometimes having a really good day also means being surprised, not just getting everything you can think of on the spot.”

“...which is why”, the woman continued, “the day will continue to repeat itself until it is, in all ways, perfect.”

“What?” Javier shrieked. “I don’t want a day like this _ever again_!

The woman shrugged.

“The day will repeat itself until perfection is achieved”, she stated, as if it was a state of affairs she had no control over and cared little about, like saying it would rain tomorrow.

“But but ---“, Javier began, horrified, “Things just go wrong! Like, I definitely didn’t want Yuzu to end up trapped in an elevator! Or even Brian to get a toothache, I just wished he wouldn’t nag me for being late! And and – I didn’t even explicitly asked for it, so what, are you reading my mind too? Even the wishes I’m not even aware of??”

The woman shrugged, pointedly as if to say _yeah, that’s kind of how it goes._

“It’s crazy, you just want to hurt people, stop using me as an excuse!” Javier yelled, incensed.

“I don’t _want_ anything”, the woman replied coolly. “It’s you who does the wanting. It’s _your_ perfect day, remember?”

“But even if I could attempt to create ‘the perfect day’, obviously I can’t control every variable, it’s crazy! And especially not with you twisting my every harmless wish into something horrible!”

“Then I guess you’re doomed to repeat this day forever”, the woman replied, unperturbed.

Javier felt his blood run cold.

“No. No”, he repeated firmly. _Focus, Javier, focus_. “Look, first things first. I want Yuzuru out of that elevator.”

The woman lifted an eyebrow.

“Now?”

“Yes, damn it, you heard me. I want Yuzuru out of there right fucking _now.”_

There was a loud rattling and banging noise, from outside, immediately followed by screams and shouts. Javier went pale. He shook his head, as if denying that anything bad could have happened. The sobs and shocked cries from the outside seemed to contradict his hope.

“What have you done?” he whispered, harshly to the woman.

“You wanted him out of there _right fucking now_ ”, she imitated his words, but without any humour. “Done.”

Javier slid slowly against the wall.

“You know I didn’t mean it like this, I wanted him rescued, but you you- you’re _evil_ -“

“And you’re stupid”, the woman counteracted. “You wanted him out of there right now, so the only way that could happen was if he _fell_ out. Stop blaming me for everything.”

Javier just shook his head slowly, apparently not even listening. He stood for a while deep in thought.

“Here is my wish, my _last_ wish”, he said, at last. Outside, there was the sound of an ambulance approaching and someone’s muffled wailing. “What I wish is for things to go back to normal. Like...like they were yesterday, before I met you. And I want _you_ , whoever you are, to go away and not play these games anymore. That’s what I want.”

“Javier”, the woman said, addressing him by name for the first time, “you don’t understand. The game has been started. This particular wish is not on the table. We kissed, we sealed the deal, remember? For better or worse.”

Javier slid down on the bathroom tiles, crying quietly.

“Look, you may have forever at your disposal, you you...witch, but I’m a mortal man, and I don’t want to die repeating this stupid day, this god forsaken awful day, and.... wait a minute! What if I were to die today? What happens then?”

“The day ends one of two ways”, the woman explained evenly. “At the hour when we met in the pub, which is 9PM, the date resets, and you wake up in your bed, and it’s Friday, the 13th of March. Or, if you die during the day, the date resets and you wake up in your bed, and it’s still Friday, the 13th of March. Whatever you do and wherever you go in this world, at 9PM at the latest, the clock resets, and it’s Friday, the 13th of March.”

“Unless –“, Javier looked up, fiercely, “unless I get my perfect day, right? Then I get to wake up, and it’s bloody Saturday, the 14th of March, right? Right?? Please!”

The woman smiled thinly.

“Precisely.”

Javier sniffed, and tried to get a hold of himself.

“Right. Okay. I can do this. I have to.”

His gaze flitted towards the door.

“Yuzu –“, he began hesitantly, “he’s okay? I mean, if the date resets, he’s gonna be fine, right? Tomorrow? Well, _the next today_ ”, he corrected, with a grimace.

“Yes”, the woman granted, with a nod. “And just so you’ll stop calling me an evil witch, I will let you off the hook just this once, and end this day early for you.”

She poised her fingers, ready to snap them.

Javier breathed out.

“Thank you”, he said, although it pained him to say it. But this was okay, it was a start. At least he knew what he was dealing with now, he knew the rules of the game, and he could work with it. _He had to._

The woman snapped her fingers, and the surroundings faded.

Javier blinked, confused.

He was no longer in the bathroom at the Cricket Club. He was in his own bed at home. Automatically he felt around for his phone. It was morning. More precisely the morning of the same day, Friday, 13th of March.

Well, at least this time he was sure he wasn’t going to oversleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am hahaha, wow this was such a wild ride! I hope you enjoy and now it's time for our lovely [K1mHeechu1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/K1mHeechu1) to take the wheel!

_ The second Friday, 13th of March 2016 _

Eight in the morning.

There was no way he would be late today. Once Javier sat up in bed the expected pain inside his skull was like a hot iron poking his brain but instead of wishing it gone he just reached for the familiar pills and took them.

One mess was already taken care of, he only needed to fix the other fifty.

He fought the urge to just pull up Yuzuru’s number and call him, just so he could listen to his voice and make sure he was okay. Would it be weird? What if he messed up his day somehow? He was probably stressed enough about his media day, having Javier call him out of the blue was probably not going to be of any help.

And since that day they hadn’t really talked much. They were stuck in that awkward phase of not knowing how to talk to each other. Javier wished he had never listened to those words. despite all that, all Javier had to do was to keep him safe and he had no reason to not believe the Witch’s words.

_Was she even a real witch?_

The date on his phone proved that he was indeed stuck on the endless loop the mysterious woman had warned him about and his best move would be to follow her instructions.

He had everything to lose if he didn’t.

He reluctantly got out of bed and took a long shower, he needed to come up with a plan of sorts. At least something that could stop people from either dying or getting hurt. The first thing he would have to be careful about were his thoughts. He needed to stop wishing for things to happen randomly and every single word should be thought about carefully.

After he got dressed, Javier tried to find Effie and as expected she was perched upon a cupboard soundly asleep. He remembered how she had behaved completely out of character the day before, so he chose to let her sleep some more as he filled a bowl with water and another one with food. She was used to being alone and finding her food on her own.

_The day before, or was it the…the same day…?_

The alarm clock finally rang and brought him back to the present, he would arrive at the club at least an hour early and that meant that Javier had plenty of time to fix whatever went wrong the day before. If he remembered correctly, today the sun would be hot and the temperature would somehow rival the typical one in a Spanish summer day, so he put his parka back in the closet and pulled out a t-shirt instead.

Mess number two was dealt with.

As he was about to leave the apartment, he heard a meowing sound behind him, and just like the day before, Effie was standing in the middle of the hall and looking at him.

_I definitely need to take her to the vet._

"Effie, baby just go eat your food and behave okay?”

Javier could be going crazy but, he could have sworn the cat tilted her head at his words and kept silently staring at him.

“I’ll be going now, bye.”

He never closed that door so fast.

* * *

The club was a mess, as expected.

Yuzuru was not even in the building yet, but the preparations had already started. This time he hadn’t met his neighbor on the way out of his house and no awkward pleasantries had been exchanged, which in his opinion had made his day even better.

Mess number 3 had been avoided.

Javier guessed that Raya wouldn’t show up so soon to pay him back so he focused on the other small details from the day before: Brian’s inability to scold him and the cafeteria incident.

_Time to meet the dragon._

He only needed to knock once for Brian to acknowledge him and tell him to get in, as soon as he opened the door Javier somehow slipped between the sea of reporters already inside. All of them with the same goal in mind: to get Yuzuru Hanyu’s coach insights.

“Thank God you are here, I was about to leave and go get you myself so I could escape them for a few minutes.”

Every year they had faced the same old ritual, and somehow Javier thought Brian had grown to be indifferent to the circus that surrounded the club every year without fail.

_Guess he’s tired of this as we are._

“How about some coffee? I was about to go down and get one.” Javier offered him his best way out and tried to ignore the stares from the reporters as they scribbled furiously on their little note pads as if Javier was just another interesting character on the great Yuzuru Hanyu’s life history.

He hated how insignificant it made him feel and he tried his best to remember that it wasn’t Yuzuru’s fault. He had never tried to make Javier feel like he was something other than his equal, so he pushed those dark thoughts away and to the back of his mind again and waved the reporters goodbye.

_Would this be my life if I had been born in a different country?_

* * *

“Oh no, it’s on me!”, Molly pushed Javier’s money away just like the day before and he smiled at her gratefully, not contesting her actions at all.

“Is it because I’m a regular or because I’m too handsome, Molly?” Javier teased her.

Molly blushed and hid her face behind her small hands, he had never paid much attention to her during his time in the club but now he could clearly see how lovely her features were and how brilliant her smile was behind her shy gestures.

They could have been friends.

He could have asked her on a date.

“The coffee is great as always Molly, thank you.” Javier winked at her and smirked at how affected the poor waitress seemed to be by such a simple gesture. She walked back to the counter and when he turned back to Brian he immediately found his disapproving look in place.

“Stop with the Spanish charm, it’s cringy.”

Javier laughed and nodded in agreement, there was no time to worry about that kind of thing. He had something way more important to think about.

“When exactly is Yuzuru arriving?”

Brian looked at his watch and with a suspicious look, he answered him, “In about thirty minutes, he wants to get here before the Japanese. Why?”

“No reason, just want to be prepared for the hurricane.”

_And possibly keep him alive._

“Like every year?”

They both snorted at the ridiculousness of it all and how much their lives had changed since Brian had taken Yuzuru under his wing. Nothing could have prepared them for what coaching Yuzuru Hanyu meant, for what it brought to the club and what it also took.

Lack of freedom was one of them, he still flinched whenever he went through security every morning and how now they had to wear id’s around the club. The board had justified the modifications with fancy statements about the improvement of elite skater’s privacies, but everyone and their mother on TCC knew what it really was about.

“Brian I need a favor, yesterday I took the elevator and it warned me about overweight and it stopped for like a few minutes. I think that it would be a good idea to ask maintenance to stop them for today since the number of people going up and down will be thrice as much.”

Brian considered his words but before he got his phone out of his pocket he muttered under his breath, “Maybe you are just overweight.”

“Listen, I just don’t think that trapping a bunch of reporters inside an elevator would look pretty. They would say that we are not worthy, I can already imagine the headlines: TCC is not fit to train the great and the honorable-”

“I get it.” The coach stopped him before he could go on with the dramatics and told him that he would get his message to the maintenance center. Javier knew that technically all he had to do was to not wish for anything and they would all be safe, but he had to be sure.

He had no other choice.

“Okay, you need to get ready and I need to get rid of the bloodhounds inside my office, I’ll meet you in a few.”

That would give him enough time to make a call.

“And by the way, did you see Gaby today?”

_Right he was supposed to meet her at the cafeteria._

“Apparently she’s keeping the cat. She’s so excited I had to tell her that if she kept showing me cat pics I would kick her out.”

Javier smiled, things did seem to go as perfect as they could today.

He somehow felt himself hoping that he had finally figured it out.

Today would his last Friday the 13th.

* * *

“Hello?”

“Hi, I’m just…calling you to check on you.”

Yuzuru looked at the phone in his hand, it was indeed Javier’s voice and Javier’s number, but he was calling to check on him?

He shook his head and brought the phone back to his ear, “Why is Javi checking on me?”

“Humn, I also wanted to let you know that the elevators don’t work so maybe go around the building so you don’t need to use the stairs?”

Yuzuru was pretty sure he had never gotten a weirder phone call from his rink mate. He actually thought he would never get another phone call from him if he were to be honest.

Not after that day, anyway.

“Okay…? Look I need to go, my team is already here to pick me up so I’ll see you soon.”

Through the speaker, he could hear Javier let out a nervous laugh and his next words managed to confuse him even further.

“Please be careful, Yuzu.”

* * *

“Javi!”

So far he had managed to not trip over the cables and from what he had heard, Yuzuru was already in the locker getting ready. He had even greeted the vultures inside the dressing room politely.

That meant that all messes had been avoided except for one.

“Remember the money I owed you, man?”

Yes he did remember and yes it was nice of Raya to give him the money back but he just wanted the day to be done and over with.

_Smile Javi, just smile._

“Thanks, bud.”

The twenty dollars bill in his pocket didn’t matter to him as much as the constant fear that someone was going to either die or get into a random accident, getting him the amazing reward of repeating the day all over again and back to square one.

Once Raya went back to his warmup, the shutters' sound became almost unbearable and Javier instantly turned around. The star of the day had arrived, he couldn’t help but feel relieved as Yuzuru gracefully bowed down and touched the ice like any other day and gracefully glided towards him and their coach.

They were surrounded by at least a hundred reporters and yet Yuzuru smiled at him like it was just another day at work and he didn’t have any pressure on his shoulders. As if he was used to it, as if it was his life.

Javier felt both envious and impressed at the thought.

_Stop it, Javi. Remember what dangerous thoughts got you last time._

“Time to start, boys.”

* * *

“Let’s take ten!”

Javier got his butt up from the ice and sluggishly made his way to the nearest bathroom. He was sure his ribs would hurt for days and what made his amazing session even better was the fact that half the media had recorded it. So now, they could show what exactly Yuzuru’s biggest rival was capable of.

Not much, according to their footage.

Yuzuru had tried to help him up most of the times but Javier refused to been seen as weak and friendly towards his rival so he muttered a low “No, thank you” that could only be heard by the two of them. He didn’t need his name to be on the cover of some newspaper with the words “Ungrateful and Rude” alongside it.

He had enough bad experiences with the media to last him a lifetime.

As Javier tried to get his soaked shirt off in order to get some cooling water on the already forming bruises he spotted a familiar figure behind him, through the mirror.

“Had a perfect day?”

“I did.”

The Witch (Javier refused to call her something else), gestured towards his middle, and shook her head with a low whistle, “Doesn’t look like it.”

He hadn’t even thought about it, but falling on his jumps was something out of his control, if having a perfect day meant a perfect practice day, then he was sure he would be stuck on the damn loop forever.

“There are no such things as perfect practices, it’s out of my control-”

“You tried today.”

“What?”

The Witch took a step forward and trapped him against the sink, he could have sworn that her eyes flashed yellow before they went back to green, her vertical pupils unsettling him even more than on their first meeting.

“You took my words seriously and believed my warning. Usually, it takes about a week before people break and start believing me.”

_How many more has she tortured before me?_

“Because of that, I’ll reward you again.”

Javier didn’t know if he actually wanted to be rewarded. All he wanted was to just make it all stop.

“Some things are out of your control, things like death or a bad session just like you said, so perhaps stop focusing on them? Sometimes people are just destined to die.”

So Yuzuru’s death hadn’t been a problem nor today’s unlucky practice session.

But his day had been perfect apart from that. What exactly was he supposed to do?

“What does that even mean?”

The Witch smiled and cupped his cheek with her palm. Her hands were incredibly soft and warm, not really betraying the evilness behind her actions or the cold from her icy tone.

“That’s for you to find out.” Javier was about to ask her another question but as he saw her fingers being raised again and about to snap him back to the beginning, the words died inside his dry throat, “We have nothing but time, sweetheart."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This kicked my butt, but here it is, my chapter for this story!! I hope you guys like it!!  
> I pass the baton to my anonymous friend, can't wait to see what you do with it!! ♥

_ The thirtieth Friday, 13th of March 2016 _

  
  
  


Javier groaned as he opened his eyes before his alarm rang.

He groaned, hitting the duvet with fisted hands in a rage.

He felt stuck. 

He felt like nothing he did was right, and the Witch had just disappeared without another word and had completely ignored the torture he had been going through every single day for thirty days.

He had tried to change the tiny little changes, ignoring the big things, trying to forget about things that weren't under his control, just like she had told him to.

He had skipped showers, worn warm clothes, worm lighter clothes, gone to the rink early, gone to the rink late, allowed people to get stuck in the lift, told Raya to keep the 20 dollars for a rainy day, asked Molly out on a date, skipped coffee altogether, tried jumps he wouldn't normally try, cameras be damned, and still, every single time he found himself suddenly starting the day over after the clock struck 9.

He felt like he hadn't slept in ages, and wished his hangover away like he had started to after the seventh time he had woken up on the same day.

He then decided to spend the entire day home. He was going to relive the damn day again tomorrow anyway. Might as well take a day to rest.

Javier then sent a text to Brian telling him he was feeling really bad and wouldn't be able to train that day, turned his phone off, pulled the blankets so that the only thing peaking out of them was the top of his head, and promptly went back to sleep.

  
  
  
  
  


It was already dark when he woke up again, and his alarm clock read 8:30 PM. He sighed, stretching and cracking his neck.

It was the first time in over a month he didn't feel the overwhelming fatigue he had gotten used to living with and Javier couldn't really bring himself to regret wasting a day when he felt this rested for the first time in forever.

He grabbed his phone, turning it back on as he walked to the living room. He found Effie sleeping on the sofa and squatted down in front of her to pet her head gently.

"What's wrong with you, beautiful. I've lived this day thirty times and I still don't know why you're like this." Effie just looked at him before going back to sleep. Maybe tomorrow he would take her to the vet. Maybe knowing what the problem with her was would make his day perfect? He lost nothing by trying.

He got himself a water bottle and sat down on the sofa, Effie instantly climbing onto his lap, and looked down at his phone, full of notifications. He ignored the social media ones, going to his unread messages.

Two from Brian, telling him to rest and be there tomorrow or he'd kick him, one of Raya telling him he'd give him the 20 dollars tomorrow, another one of Gabrielle telling him she had found a home for the foster kitten, and... ten messages from Yuzuru? Now, that was new.

  
  
  


**Javi, I need to talk to you**

  
  
  


**Please call when you see this.**

  
  
  


**Javi, please answer when you better, Brian say you sick**

  
  
  


**Someone give me something weird for Javi, say she's your friend, I don't know what to do with it.**

  
  
  


**I give it to you today?**

  
  
  


**Javi, you ok? I worry. You always answer texts**

  
  
  


**Lift broke when I was about to go in. I got scared but ok. Still have Javi's friend package.**

  
  
  


**I go to Javi's house after training done to give you package.**

  
  
  


**I'm leaving**

  
  
  


**I'm close, Javi.**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The doorbell rang, and Javier ran to open, Effie not even protesting when he basically dumped her on the sofa. There was something really wrong with that cat.

"Javi, hi!" Yuzuru smiled when Javier opened the door. 

"Hello Yuzu."

"Can I in? I have something for you?"

"Sure, come in."

He noted Yuzuru's breathing was somewhat laboured, a little wheezier than normal. It reminded Javier of the first few times he'd seen Yuzuru train for too long and start losing the fight against his asthma.

"You ok, Yuzu? You sound off."

"Yes, yes. Smoke outside, make lungs achy. All good." Yuzuru took an envelope and a small box out of his bag and handed it to Javier. "That's yours." Yuzuru looked around and squealed before waddling to the sofa to pet Effie.

"Thanks, Yuzu." He opened the box, to find a necklace inside. He took it out, looking at it and trying to understand what it even meant. Why would a friend send him a yin and yang symbol necklace? He opened the envelope next, and his blood froze when he saw the message it contained.

  
  
  
  
  


**_You won't achieve the perfect day by avoiding everything and simply sleeping, Javier._ **

**_There are people you can't avoid meeting on a perfect day, and there are things you can't stop from happening on a perfect day._ **

**_The universe needs balance, and so does a perfect day._ **

**_I've been nice so far because you've been playing by the rules. Don't make me be the bad guy. It really doesn't suit me._ **

**_The universe will always right itself. Or get rid of what's causing the imbalance and go back to how it should be._ **

**_Heed my words._ **

  
  
  
  
  


A sudden noise made him look away from the note, and he gasped when he saw Yuzuru lying on the floor, wheezing loudly.

"Yuzu!" He knelt next to him, pulling his body up so to have him propped up against his chest. "Where's your inhaler? Is it in your bag?" Yuzuru shook his head. Shit. No inhaler. "It's okay, I'll call 911 and we'll have you better in no time. Don't worry."

Yuzuru looked pale, lips blue and tears on his eyes.

Javier realised he had stopped wheezing.

Which meant he wasn't breathing at all.

"Fuck, don't worry Yuzu, I'll..." He reached to the sofa to get his phone...

  
  
  
  
  


_ The thirty-first Friday, 13th of March 2016 _

  
  
  
  
  
  


He jumped up, hands still reaching out, as the alarm rang. 

"FUCK!" He screamed, covering his face with his hands and trying to stop hyperventilating.

He felt something cold against his cheek, and took his hand away from his face, only to find the necklace still in his hand.

It somehow had made it through the day change (reset? He didn't know how to call it anymore, and had given up trying to figure it out.) with him.

He tried not to think about how, if the clock hadn't struck 9, Yuzuru would've probably died in his arms from the lack of oxygen, and tried to remember the note. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**_There are people you can't avoid meeting on a perfect day, and there are things you can't stop from happening on a perfect day._ **

  
  
  


**_The universe needs balance, and so does a perfect day._ **

  
  
  


People you can't avoid meeting... The Witch had sent Yuzuru to him. 

Things you can't stop from happening... it wasn't the first time Yuzuru had asthma problems during the day. Not even the second or third. He hadn't been there every single time, but he could bet that, at some point in the day, Yuzuru had had an asthma attack every single day for the last thirty days.

  
  
  


**_The universe needs balance, and so does a perfect day._ **

  
  
  


He sighed, before getting out of bed and heading to the shower.

Better get it done and over with.

  
  
  


He wished the hangover away and started the day again for the thirty-first time.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Narwhal here, updating this story with the awesome chapter my anonymous friend wrote. I'll leave you to her A/N!
> 
> NOTES: I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! I’m posting it anonymously because I’m not comfortable sharing my identity, but I really wanted to take part in this challenge with my lovely writing friends. I tag the very talented [Junliet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Junliet) to write the next chapter!

On the morning of his thirty-first reset, Javier woke up with a new sense of determination. The yin and yang necklace was a heavy, comforting weight around his neck. He held onto it tightly, running his fingers over the monochrome pendant almost reverently. He had something to ground him now—something to keep him from idly wasting his time. Today was a new day and a new opportunity to finally make things right. He shuddered as he thought about Yuzuru's still, rapidly cooling form in his arms and vowed to himself that today would have a different outcome from all of his previous resets.

Javier showed up to the rink on time, neither early nor late, recalling the witch's ominous warning that the universe needed balance. As soon as he arrived, he went straight to the locker room and scanned the benches for a familiar golden suitcase. He found it almost immediately, and, trying not to feel guilty, began rummaging through it. Pooh was missing, along with some other essentials such as a water bottle and a thin Team Japan jacket, so Yuzuru must have already begun his training session. 

Carefully, he removed a stack of meticulously folded Under Armour training clothes from the suitcase. The fabric was smooth beneath Javier's fingertips, and the Spaniard felt heat rise in his cheeks when he accidentally touched a sleek black dance belt. He set it aside gently along with a massage ball and a yoga mat, trying resolutely to not imagine the consequences he would face if he were caught handling Yuzuru’s personal belongings, and continued digging through his training mate's suitcase. Eventually, his palm closed around a piece of hard plastic. Triumphantly, Javier retrieved the rescue inhaler from the pile of things that still remained in Yuzuru's luggage. He had just begun trying to return Yuzuru's suitcase to the state he had found it in when the sound of the locker room door swinging open made his blood run cold.

Much to Javier's relief, he was greeted with his own mother tongue and not inquiring English or outraged Japanese:  _ "What are you doing with Yuzu's stuff?" _

_ "Fetching his inhaler,"  _ Javier replied honestly, putting the last of Yuzuru's things away and hoping that the contents of his suitcase looked orderly enough to not arouse suspicion. Raya raised an eyebrow at him.

_ "I saw him a minute ago. He didn't look like anything was wrong with him,"  _ Raya said, not convinced.

_ "Yeah, well, he should have this nearby at all times. You never know when he might need it."  _ Javier's tone was perhaps a bit sharper than it should have been, pinched with apprehension. Raya shrugged and didn't offer another rebuttal.

_ "Fair enough,"  _ the other Spanish skater conceded. He extended his hand, and Javier took what was in his palm without looking at it, already knowing what it would be.  _ "I just wanted to give you your twenty dollars back. Thanks for lending it to me." _

Javier muttered a quick  _ thanks,  _ patted Raya on the back half-heartedly, and then left the locker room in a rush. He could feel his countryman's confused gaze on his back, but he didn't have time to explain himself. He didn’t know if Yuzuru’s asthma attack occurred at the same time every reset, so he figured that it was better to get the inhaler to him sooner rather than later. He decided to forgo his usual morning coffee, worried about wasting precious time chatting with Molly. Besides, he felt plenty awake: anxiety was a better wake-up call than caffeine.

Yuzuru was doing his standard warmup triple Axels when Javier got on the ice, already done with his stroking and edge exercises. He offered Javier a warm smile when the Spaniard skated up to him. "Hi, Javi," he greeted, tone friendly.

"Hi, Yuzu," Javier replied, feeling more at ease now that he had Yuzuru right in front of him. The Japanese skater seemed perfectly fine, albeit perhaps a bit more tired than normal; there were faint rings underneath his eyes, but he gave no indication of seeming ill. Still, Javier handed him his inhaler, pressing it firmly into Yuzuru's palm and closing the other man's slender fingers around it. "Hang onto this, okay?"

Yuzuru frowned but nodded. "This was in suitcase, yes? It get lost?" he asked, tone inquisitive but not upset or accusing.

Javier chose not to answer that question directly. "It's important. You should use it and then keep it with you."

After a brief moment of silence where Yuzuru’s dark, bewildered gaze scrutinized Javier’s face, the Japanese man simply said, “Okay.” He seemed to shrug off his training mate’s strangely adamant request. 

Javier watched as Yuzuru obediently used his inhaler and then set it down on the boards next to his loyal Winnie the Pooh tissue box. Once he was certain that Yuzuru was in no immediate danger, he began his own training session. It went about as well as could be expected with half of Javier’s focus on another person; he flubbed most of his jumps, either popping them or falling gracelessly. The few that he did land were shaky at best. There was a constant, dull ache in Javier’s chest, and he felt more out of breath than usual. Absentmindedly, he wondered if this was what Yuzuru’s asthma felt like.

Brian sent Javier home early after he fell on a triple Salchow—a jump that rarely eluded him even when he was in poor condition. He didn’t bother protesting; if he managed to fix the time loop he was trapped in, he would only have two weeks of training before he would fly out to Boston for Worlds, and it was better to rest than to overexert himself. 

On a brisk, sunny day like this one—this was his thirty-first time living the same day, so Javier knew what the weather would be like before he even stepped foot outside of the Cricket Club—Javier would usually jog back to his apartment. But today he felt tired and clammy, so he opted to call a cab instead. The drive was barely over ten minutes long, but it seemed to last a lifetime. Javier was beginning to feel truly ill, and he wanted to be in the comfort of his compact Toronto apartment as soon as possible so that he could lie down on his couch, play some video games, and then get an early night. Between his lingering anxiety about Yuzuru and his less-than-ideal practice session, Javier’s day hadn’t been perfect by any means, but it certainly hadn’t been the worst of his thirty-one Fridays so far. He hoped that forcing Yuzuru to use his inhaler would prevent his asthma attack from happening, in turn stopping his death and restoring balance to the universe. Every time he closed his eyes, the picture of his training mate’s terrified eyes and pale, bloodless face haunted him.

When Javier arrived at his apartment, it was just past noon. He gave the cab driver the twenty dollars that Raya had returned to him, telling him to keep the change, and then he trudged up the stairs to his fourth-story apartment. Effie seemed much more active than she had been during the other resets; she twined around Javier’s ankles once he stepped inside, meowing plaintively at him. Javier knelt on the cool wooden floor and reached towards her to scratch around her ears, but she avoided his touch and sat down a ways off, leveling him with an unblinking stare.

“Alright, I’m definitely making a vet appointment for you,” Javier muttered. He was feeling a bit dizzy, so, after checking that Effie had food, he collapsed on his couch with a groan. He rubbed absently at his aching jaw. He felt unusually exhausted and chalked it up to how he had spent his last thirty days of being stuck in a time loop, approaching each Friday differently like he was spinning a wheel in a casino and praying that he would land on the jackpot. Eventually, he was dragged into a deep sleep, the nature documentary playing somewhere in the distance acting like a lullaby.

When he woke up, his neck and back were uncomfortably stiff. Javier stood up and stretched, cursing his old couch as he wandered into the kitchen. Effie followed him silently. 

After making a sloppy paella that his grandmother would scoff at for dinner, Javier settled back down on his couch. Effie hopped onto the cushion beside him but stayed just out of arm’s reach, her green eyes never leaving him. Feeling slightly unnerved by her solemn stare, Javier picked up his phone to call the veterinary clinic. The time on the screen read  _ 6:34pm.  _ It was too late to call; he’d have to schedule an appointment tomorrow.

_ “Maybe I’ll make appointments for us both,” _ Javier mused out loud, wincing as his stomach twisted with another bout of faint nausea. He had been feeling off ever since the afternoon, but he was hoping that it would go away with the next reset. He just needed to wait it out.

He messaged Yuzuru on LINE at seven in the evening, trying to discreetly check in on his training mate’s condition. He played video games to pass the time, hoping that the bright characters and fantasy world would help take his mind off his aching body, until he received a reply from Yuzuru just before nine.

_ Yuzuru Hanyu: I’m okay. Thank you for find inhaler. I need it earlier. _

Javier smiled down at his phone screen despite his dizziness which seemed to be growing worse by the second. Aside from feeling a bit ill, his day hadn’t been all that bad. Perhaps giving Yuzuru his inhaler really would be the thing that finally ended the time loop.

As he was typing a reply, a sudden, sharp pain jolted through his chest. Javier dropped his phone and clutched at his upper torso. He couldn’t breathe. Panic coursed through him in frigid waves as he fought to draw air into his lungs, his chest seeming to grow tighter by the second as if an invisible force were squeezing it in a vise grip, forcing him to give up every hard-earned breath he managed to take. The yin and yang necklace burned like a brand against his skin. His apartment spun sickenly around him until his vision faded completely, replaced by pitch blackness.

His final thought, startlingly clear, was,  _ The universe needs balance, and so does a perfect day. _

_ A life for a life. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so much fun to write! Thank you so much for tagging me. I hope you all enjoy this and next up I tag [ emilia_kaisa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilia_kaisa). Good luck!

_ The thirty-second Friday 13th March 2016 _

Javier groaned and blinked awake, head aching with the pain of thirty-one hangovers in it and one near death experience. Instead of lying in his bed, as he had done every other time, he woke up on the floor of his apartment in front of his sofa. A little jolt of excitement shot through him when he wasn’t back where he started; was it finally the 14th of March? He scrambled across the floor, reaching for his phone.

_Mierda_

At least he wasn’t going to be late to the rink. He rubbed at his forehead and then stopped, eyes narrowing at where Effie was napping on the counter top. When she didn’t budge as he filled her food and water bowls, he reached out to scratch behind her ears. She shifted away from him and Javier just shook his head, unlocking his phone. He’d never, in his month of Fridays, actually got around to booking that appointment for her at the vet.

“Maybe if I have something booked for next week, I’ll finally be able to get out of this ridiculous shit,” Javier mumbled to Effie as she finally let him pet her ears. “Not that you’ve noticed, have you?”

She fixed him with her bored look and Javier just rolled his eyes before he got ready to go. Walking in the sunshine to the rink, he arrived early and stepped over the snakes of wires that were already coiling around the hallways. He ducked into the café, insisting that he paid for his own coffee despite Molly’s protests, and he hid at the table in the corner. Digging around in his bag, he found a long-forgotten pen and a crumpled receipt.

_ Stopping the time loop _

He underlined it a couple of times before his brain drew a blank. If he knew what to write down, wouldn’t he have stopped the loop by now? He’d have been to Worlds and back if he knew what to do. He grimaced, rubbing his forehead, before he jotted down some notes.

_Things that happen:_

_Molly tries to buy me coffee_

_Raya tries to give me the money_

_Gabrielle mentions the cat_

_Have to see Yuzu_

_Someone dies from an asthma attack_

He frowned, crossing out the last one.

_~~Someone dies from an asthma attack~~ _

_Someone has an asthma attack and might die_

He held onto the necklace, rubbing his thumb unconsciously over the ridges of the pendent. Before, it had practically burned against his skin but now it was cool and like a comforting weight grounding him to reality, acting almost like the comforting hugs Brian would give him after a bad skate. Only this wasn’t a bad skate. It was thirty-two back to back bad skates.

Getting nowhere, he crumpled the receipt back up and shoved it into the bottom of his bag before he trudged his way to the locker room, dodging the wires and camera crew that tried to get shots of him looking exhausted and frustrated. Yuzuru’s gold case was sitting there, neat and tidy, and Javier took the inhaler out and slipped it into his own pocket.

Just in case.

He ducked out before Javier Raya had a chance to swoop in and offer him his money back, and he dumped down his Team España jacket and Yuzuru’s inhaler on the bench next to Pooh-san. Yuzuru was there, as always, drilling his damn triple axel, and Javier patted the tissue box’s fluffy head.

“Look after his inhaler for me please.” He whispered before he caught himself. He was chatting to a tissue box. This whole thing really was turning him insane.

Yuzuru gave him a little wave across the ice when Javier joined him and the pair of them did their best to ignore the clicks of the camera shutters, focusing on their own training. Javier’s wasn’t perfect; his mind wasn’t entirely on his skating and it kept drifting over to Yuzuru’s inhaler beside Pooh-san. After yet another splatted quad salchow, Yuzuru stopped beside him and offered him a hand up and a soft smile as he studied Javier’s face.

“Tired?”

“You could say that,” Javi picked up his water bottle as they took a break together by the edge of the ice.

“More sleep, less coffee,” Yuzuru teased, hiding his face in the crook of his elbow as he coughed. “Maybe you can’t sleep properly because you drink too much of it.”

Javier swatted for Yuzuru playfully before both of them laughed, blissfully forgetting the attention of the photographers was hyper focused on Yuzuru. Both of their smiles dimmed when Javier caught Yuzuru rubbing a hand over his chest, nose scrunching up.

“Everything alright?”

Yuzuru nodded, giving him that smile that Javier had learnt meant ‘no, but we’ll talk about it later. Away from all this’ and he set down his water bottle before he took a deep breath. Javier’s heart leapt to his throat and his eyes unconsciously flicked to Pooh-san and the inhaler he’d tucked beside him. The younger set down his water bottle and tugged on Javier’s wrist, nodding back towards the ice.

“Yes yes, I’m coming, calm down. It’s not like we’re training for the Olympics.”

“Worlds is like the Olympics of this season,” Yuzuru responded indignantly, clearing his throat. “Can’t slack off.”

“You can,” Javi mumbled to himself. “Wish I had an Olympic gold.”

_Shit! No! I did not mean to wish for that. Witch, wherever you are, do NOT—_

“Well,” Yuzuru must have heard him because he dug into his jacket pocket and produced the Sochi gold medal and its box. He pressed it into Javier’s hand and gave him a scrunchy smile, “you can hold onto it. To motivate you for the rest of training. But give it back at the end?”

“Of course,” the medal felt heavy in his hand but his heart lightened. “Thanks Yuzu.”

“Come on. I can’t steal your Sal if we stand here talking.”

The rest of his training was as messy as it had been before, but Yuzuru’s motivation did help Javier. The weight of the gold sitting on his team jacket, and the knowledge of the title that it carried with him, pushed him to work hard, even if he ended up on his backside most of the time. A buoyant feeling carried him through and, even if he tried not to think about it, Javi had a very good feeling that this could be his last Friday the 13th of March 2016 ever.

Yuzuru’s training, after their break, had turned a corner much for the worst. He didn’t land a single quad, ending up on his back staring up at the roof more than he was on his skates. Even his beloved triple axel decided to betray him and, on the third fall, he stayed down for much too long for comfort.

“Yuzu?”

Javier skated over to him and he didn’t even think about what happened when he last saved Yuzuru from his asthma. All he thought about was the fact that his training mate, and his friend, was lying there on the ice physically unable to get air into his lungs, and he tripped over himself getting to the inhaler he’d tucked beside Pooh. He knelt down beside the other and helped him sit up, giving it to him so that he could administer it. The photographers soaked up the action like ambient sponges as Javier and Brian helped to get Yuzuru off the ice and propped him up against the wall. Yuzuru, after the first dose, looked a little further from death’s door, but he didn’t look good. Through the power of hand gestures and their innate ability to understand each other, Yuzuru managed to tell Javier to go and get his spacer from his suitcase for him. All thoughts of training and of having the perfect day were forgotten in favour of Javier and Brian making sure that Yuzuru could breathe. Tracy had called him an ambulance and Javier sat beside him against the wall, letting Yuzuru rest his head on his shoulder as Brian shooed the reporters out of the rink. When the ambulance crew arrived, Yuzuru managed to give Javier’s hand a quick squeeze before he was carried off.

“Wait,” Javier stopped Brian who was about to take Yuzuru’s things to his office, ready to take them to him when training was over. He handed Brian the Sochi gold to put back in Yuzuru’s bag, chuckling when he noticed two Four Continents and a Worlds silver medal in there too. “This is his. He wouldn’t want to lose it.”

“Thanks,” Brian nodded. “See you tomorrow Javi. Make sure you properly do your cooldown, and rest up.”

Javier nodded and elected to walk home instead of jogging or, heaven forbid, getting a cab. The spring evening air was cool against his cheeks and ruffled his curls, having an almost calming effect. Javier would have let his mind wander if he wasn’t so hyper focused on the impact that one tiny little thought could have. He somehow made it home unscathed and flopped down onto the sofa, letting his head fall back as he stared at the ceiling, silently asking it for advice.

Having spaced out, he was jolted back to reality by the gentle piano music of his phone’s standard ringtone. He dug around in his pocket, fishing it out, and frowned when he saw Brian’s contact and that stupid selfie they’d taken with Effie flash up on the screen.

“Brian? What’s wrong? Is everything okay?” He switched it to speaker phone, glancing at the time.

_7:45 pm_

“No,” Javier sat bolt upright. Brian never cried. _Never_. But now, on the end of the phone, he could hear his coach trying to hold it together, trying not to choke on his tears, trying to be strong for Javier in the way that he tried to stay strong for his students when they were skating. He’d been moved to near tears when his skaters shattered their records, like Yuzuru at NHK and the Grand Prix Final, and even Yuna back in Vancouver, but those were tears of happiness. Not these choking gasps of intense emotion that Brian was still trying his best to force back.

“Brian, what’s happened?”

“Yuzuru,” Brian managed to choke out and Javier’s heart stopped.

“He’s okay, right?”

“Javi—”

“Brian, you’re just pulling my leg. He’s fine. Really, he’s fine. Just staying in overnight at the hospital to keep an eye on him and he’ll be back to training on Monday, right?”

“Javi—”

“See you tomorrow Brian,” Javier’s voice was emotionless as he hung up the phone and dropped it onto the coffee table.

He slumped forward with his head held in his hands as he tried to process everything. The very notion that he would never get to see Yuzuru smile again, never get to laugh with him, never get to train with him, never get to help him up, never get to hug him, it physically pained him and made his chest feel as tight as it had when he’d taken Yuzuru’s asthma attack for him.

_It’s okay,_ some part of his mind supplied, trying to be rational and calm him down, _this isn’t your perfect day. You’ll get it reset. It’ll reset. It’ll be fine._

_But what if it doesn’t reset?_ A nagging voice piped up, making Javier’s stomach turn and he lunged for the bathroom.

“Oi!” Javier shouted into the empty apartment with tears streaming down his face. A startled Effie dived under the sofa to hide from him as his rage rolled off him in waves. “Witch! Whatever your name is, this is not my perfect day! So do me a favour and end it already! Bring Yuzuru back to life!”

She appeared, looking down her nose at where he was still sitting on the bathroom floor.

“I thought I told you, Javier, that some things are out of your control. There are things you cannot stop. The universe needs balance and—”

“So does a perfect day, yes, I know. You’ve already told me.” Javier brought himself to his feet, full of irritation. “But this is not perfect. Far from it. Killing Yuzuru makes it possibly the worst day of my life.”

She rolled her eyes and shook her head at him. “I told you. Sometimes people are destined to die. That, combined with the universe’s need for balance, is what resulted in this.”

“Well then I wish Yuzuru Hanyu isn’t dead!”

“That’s not how this works, Javier. You know that.”

Javier folded his arms and glared at her. “Can you at least tell me what I did wrong this time?”

“That would be cheating,” she said with a cold smirk that made Javier groan and his head spin. “Perhaps you’re thinking too much about this, over analysing every detail? I’ve told you all you need to know already.”

“It’s kind of hard not to over analyse things when my every thought could kill someone I love. And, if you’d told me all I need to know, then how come this disaster happened today?”

“You got something that you crave most in the world, and so you lost the thing that means the most to you. It’s a fair swap. Balance, Javier. Balance.”

She disappeared, leaving Javier alone in his bathroom with more questions than answers. With a groan, he flopped down on his bed, burying his face in his pillow. He felt the weight of the bed dip a little next to him and Effie curled up by his side as the time approached 9 PM.

“What am I going to do Effie?” he mumbled, scratching behind her ears. “How am I going to live the perfect day?”

She purred, rubbing her head against his hand as she looked up at him with her wide dark eyes. Nosing at his cheek, she settled down beside him, curling up into a little ball to drift off to sleep as the time rolled over, back to the start of Friday the 13th March 2016 again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much fun with this one, I hope you'll like it, dear readers and friends :P  
> Tagging lovely [@Sehnyusucht](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sehnyusucht/pseuds/Sehnyusucht) <3

Javi woke up to Effie bumping against his cheek gently, meowing with some quiet urgency. He sighed and reached to scratch her behind the ears, still sleepy but managing to enjoy the familiar warmth of her fur. His back ached a little, but it wasn’t anything terrible, that slight dull pain that was his familiar companion for so many years it was almost comforting to feel it again, grounding him to reality. Yesterday- well, technically today- seemed like one of countless dreams he had had in his life, and despite all the dread hovering in the corner of his brain, Javi knew that it was just another Friday 13th, another day leading him closer and closer to insanity. 

He didn’t really feel like getting up, thought of going to the rink and pretending that he was fine making him feel sick and depriving him of any will to function. He didn't even specifically think of staying in bed when his phone rang sharply, and Javi blinked quickly, confused. He was sure his alarm clock had another sound, but then he realized it was a text message for Brian, and his heart stuttered with anxiety, a sudden dread that something irreversible had happened turning his blood into ice.

_there’s power outage at the club, enjoy longer weekend!_

Javi narrowed his eyes, reading the message from Brian once again, and two times more for a good measure, and then sighed, throwing the phone away and for once being glad that the witch seemed to be making his wishes come true. From his past experiences he knew the day wouldn’t be uneventful, there was no chance for that with all the game rules, but at least he could have a few hours of calm before the storm would overtake his life once again. 

He wasn’t really sleepy, so he stayed in bed for a bit longer before getting up and doing a little stretching to ease his back pain, and then he paced to the kitchen, putting the kettle on and giving Effie her food. With a hot cup in his hand, he looked around the apartment and wondered briefly if he should maybe clean up, since he was weirdly sure Yuzuru was going to show up at some point, but to be honest, he didn’t really care. Maybe he was still not fully awake yet, but for some reason he was feeling kind of numb, as if his brain still couldn’t catch up, or accept everything what was happening, even though it was going on for long time now. 

Javi shook his head, annoyed, and he decided to send Yuzuru a short text, just in case. He tried not to think about the witch’s words, about balance, about what he wanted and what he needed, supposedly. He sighed and rubbed his forehead, throat clenching unpleasantly, but before he could fall into some dark spiral of gloom, his phone buzzed and he reached for it quickly, expecting to see Yuzuru’s name on the screen, but the reality was different and not disappointing at all. 

“Hi mom.” he said, his voice cracking a little when he realized that he hadn’t heard her voice in way too long “How are you?”

“I know it’s not our usual hour, sweetie, but I wanted to check on you.”

Her voice was warm, with just a little shadow of anxiety, and Javi’s heart clenched with a sudden want to just feel her warm, fragile arms around him. 

“I’m good! Just, uhm, don’t have training today, there are some power issues at the rink.”

“Oh, that’s a shame.” she hummed, and in the background Javi could hear the familiar cracking of their old kitchen radio “But maybe you could do something nice, rest a little during the weekend-”

“Mom, are you okay?” Javi asked, suddenly worried, sensing some odd note in the sound of her voice, and she sighed quietly, and Javi could recall her shaking her head so clearly it almost hurt.

“It’s nothing, sweetie, I just had some odd dream today, it was nagging me a little. There was a maze and- well, it doesn’t matter, Javi, I’m just glad to hear your voice. I miss you.”

“I miss you too.” Javi confessed through his clenched throat “Mom?”

“Yes?”

“How your perfect day would look like?”

He hadn’t been really planning to ask that, but his mom always had the best advices for him, so it seemed just natural, to look for some help, even though she had no idea about his reasons. 

“Oh.” she gasped, clearly surprised “Well, I don’t know, sweetie. I’m not sure if it’s even possible, to plan something like that ahead. For sure I’d like to spend it with all of you, and to have your dad make baked fish... I don’t know, sweetie, truly. Why are you asking?”

“Just-” Javi swallowed hard, wrapping his fingers around the phone tightly “I just don’t want to waste time.” 

It was the closest to the truth he could force himself to share, and his mom hummed with understanding, her voice soothing and calming.

“Just don’t think too much, Javi. I know you’re going to have a wonderful day.”

“Thank you.” he croaked, and he took a quick sip of his coffee before adding “I’ll see you in Boston soon. I love you.”

“I love you too, Javi.”

The call ended and Javi put his phone away feeling both on the verge of crying and weirdly positive. No matter what was happening, at least he had his family and God, he wanted to see them so much, just one more reason for him to want to break that damn curse. 

He searched through his fridge and he wasn’t really that surprised what he found a box of mint ice cream that certainly shouldn’t be there; he didn’t complain, though, and he was glad that at least for now that whole fulfilling wishes thing was working out so far. He settled on the sofa with his coffee and ice cream, and he even managed to find something decent to watch on tv, a French movie Cortney had been always tried to convince him to watch. It was cute and funny, and for a few moments it helped Javi forgot about all the crap. But then the moment the movie ended his phone buzzed once again, and Javi let out a sigh of relief when he saw his teammate’s name flashing on the screen.

_hi Javi, so sad practice not today_

_but I have question too_

_my wifi broken can I come to you to do homework?_

Javi wasn’t really surprised at that, but he sacrificed a moment to be kind of in awe of the witch’s creativity. Enabling the wifi was such a smart idea, honestly, but Javi couldn’t help but wonder why Yuzuru chose to write him. It wasn’t something they did, visiting each other, and Javi was sure that normally Yuzuru would choose to sit in some coffee shop, probably. It only lead him to an unpleasant feeling that people weren’t exactly acting as they would if things were normal, and the thought was making a bitter wave rise in his throat. Things between him and Yuzuru were always a bit complicated, warm and a bit odd at the same time, but for the past few months the atmosphere was a bit tense, just a tiny bit less comfortable than usual. It's wasn't big, but even if it wasn't for that, Yuzuru would never want to hang out with Javi outside of the rink. 

Javi shook his head and sent Yuzuru thumbs up along with the code to the building and went to the bathroom. He just finished his shower and put fresh clothes on when the doorbell rang and he jogged to open the door and greet awkwardly looking Yuzuru. 

"Hi." his teammate said, readjusting his bag nervously "Thank you for agreeing."

"No problem." Javi smiled, letting him inside "Here, sit whenever you'd like."

Yuzuru nodded and after a moment of hesitation he moved towards the sofa, Javi following him quietly. Honestly, he was kind of glad Yuzuru came, it was relieving to see him all good and breathing normally, even though Javi was aware that it was going to change soon, probably. 

"You want something to drink?" 

"Oh, don't want to be a problem-"

"No problem, I'm going to make some coffee for myself anyway." Javi smiled and Yuzuru smiled back, nodding slowly. 

"Do you have green tea?" 

"Let's find out."

He found a box of tea in a back of a cupboard, and he was pretty sure he hadn't bought it, but he only shrugged. Honestly, today the wish thing was going on rather harmlessly, and Javi wondered humorlessly how he was going to fuck it up. 

After preparing the beverages Javi settled on the free end of the sofa, watching Yuzuru discreetly and complimenting everything what had happened the day before, even though the images he was recalling were downright painful. He still found it was terrible and pointless, how the witch was playing with Yuzuru’s life and acting like it was a needed ingredient of Javi's perfect day. 

_You got something that you crave most in the world, and so you lost the thing that means the most to you._

Stupid wish for a medal that got Yuzuru killed, once again. Javi would never trade Yuzuru's life, anyone's life, even for an Olympic gold, and it was making him so mad that some weird witch lady thought it was okay. 

_You lost the thing that means the most to you._

Seeing Yuzuru die over and over again was terrible, and even though Javi knew it was temporary, it didn't mean it was any less painful, each time making his heart ache. Because no matter what was happening, Yuzuru was his person, his companion in never ending battle for greatness, a force to push him forward and a warm hug to ease stress after a competition.

They were making each other better, and a little piece of ice appeared in Javi's chest when he tried to imagine his life without Yuzuru, if some of those terrible events somehow became reality. Would he be even able to skate, or would the grief be too hard to bear? 

Javi flinched, suppressing a groan, because what kind of fucked up scenario was that? 

"Javi?" 

He flinched, and focused his eyes on Yuzuru properly again, meeting his curious, a little anxious gaze. 

"Yes?" 

"I just want- want to-" Yuzuru swallowed visibly, glancing down and putting his laptop away before looking Javi in the eyes again "We okay?" 

Javi blinked rapidly and almost asked what the hell Yuzuru was talking about, but then he got it, and he smiled softly, nodding. 

"We're okay." he confirmed, but Yuzuru didn't seem convinced, fingers playing with the fabric covering his knees. 

"I'm just… sorry."

"You don't have to be, really-" 

"But I was rude!" Yuzuru exclaimed, suddenly loud and high-pitched "And made you upset!" 

Javi sighed and shook his head, and reached to pat Yuzuru's thigh, barely remembering the day Yuzuru was talking about. Javi had been having a tough practice, Yuzuru miscalculated amount of teasing, and already tense atmosphere of preparing for worlds turned even more charged but still really civil. It was a bump on the road that put some distance between them for some time, but Javi had no idea Yuzuru had been stressing about that so much, but apparently he was good at hiding things.

"Really, not an issue. I'm gossiping about you with Raya all the time."

Yuzuru gasped, but then smiled, relieved and a little playful. 

"Then all is fair." he stated solemnly and Javi laughed, reaching to ruffle his hair. 

"All is fair."

If he could only say that about other aspects of his life. 

Yuzuru came back to his assignment and Javi decided to prepare some lunch for them, and he almost didn't cry while chopping onions. It was all going so surprisingly smooth the sound of Yuzuru's discreet cough almost made him jump, and he froze with a knife in his hand. 

"Hey, you okay?" 

"Mhh, just throat a bit itching."

"I can open the balcony door a little, let some fresh air in." Javi offered and then asked a question he already knew the answer to "You have your inhaler?"

"Uh, I'm good! Didn't have trouble in long time."

Yeah, Javi would disagree, but he only gritted his teeth and attacked the garlic with much more force than needed. Maybe that crazy witch lady had some odd kink about lack of oxygen or something? 

While the dish was simmering happily, Javi checked his phone and grinned when he saw a picture of Javi Raya clearly enjoying a day off with his boyfriend, raising a glass and promising he would pay off his debt in beers. 

“Take a rest for a moment and eat something, your brain needs some food.” Javi said and he was really proud of himself for behaving normally even though he knew what was coming, and he had no idea if there was anything he could do about it.

“Thank you.” Yuzuru said, smiling as he sat down by Javi’s small dining table “It smells good.”

“I hope you like it.”

They sat in comfortable silence and Javi let himself enjoy that, because that was what he needed in the middle of that hell his life was, a few quiet moments when he could pretend everything was fine.

“Hey Yuzu?” he started in the middle of consuming chicken with veggies “What’s your idea of a perfect day?”

At that point, what did he have to lose? 

“Hmm.” Yuzuru hummed, clearly caught off guard but intrigued, and he put his fork down, folding his hands in his lap “On the ice.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Javi chuckled, fondness swirling warmly in his chest “So you must really not be happy with today, huh?”

“It is okay.” Yuzuru said generously, but his smile was honest.

After finishing their food Yuzuru came back to the sofa while Javi fetched them some orange juice and joined him a moment later; but he found Yuzuru with his eyes half closed, dozing off a little. Javi sighed and sat down, careful not to startle his teammate who seemed to be on the best way to his afternoon nap. He looked calm and even younger than he was, and a bit tired, and Javi swallowed past the sudden tightness in his throat.

Why it all kept on happening? Why there was no way out and why the fuck Javi couldn't achieve perfection no matter how much he tried-

And suddenly, Javi understood. 

The witch didn't give a shit about his perfect day. He was only a pawn in whatever game she was playing, set to fulfill some wicked plan he had yet to understand. All the talk about balance, things he couldn't avoid, Yuzuru's asthma attacks, death- it had nothing to do with what his perfect day would look like, but it was apparently something important for whatever she wanted to achieve. She might have been saying that all his wishes were coming true, but only now Javi remembered his godmother always telling him sternly 'be careful what you wish for', and he wanted to laugh. Some dreams weren't supposed to come true, and the witch knew it perfectly, pretending that she was merciful while she was only playing with Javi, playing with him all along. She could have said all she wanted about universe and its need for balance, but now, thinking about the necklace safely tucked under his pillow, Javi was strangely sure that poor universe wasn't here to blame. She wanted something, and the only way she could have him play along was to give him illusions that it was only about him, while she was the one pulling the strings. 

Next to him Yuzuru sighed deeply in his sleep, lips parting a little as his breathing turned quicker, a little labored, and Javi winced, perfectly knowing what was going to happen soon. He carefully reached to push Yuzuru's bangs away in a tender gesture, and wondered why the hell the witch was so determined to make them both suffer like that; but he was glad that Yuzuru wasn't aware of what was happening to him over and over again. The poor kid didn't deserve that. 

Javi let out a deep breath, willing his heart to calm down a little. For some reason realizing that in reality he had barely any control of what was happening was kind of… freeing, and it was making him a little giddy, bubbles of hysterical laughter tickling inside his chest. Because he was sure that it all hadn't been an accident and she had chosen him for a purpose, and that meant one thing- she needed him. She needed him to fulfill her plan, whatever it was. So maybe Javi didn't have much control over his life now, but at the same time he had some power over her, and that was making him almost ecstatic. 

Yuzuru whimpered quietly, an unhealthy blush dusting his cheeks, and Javi sighed, touching his hair again before leaning down to press a kiss to Yuzuru's warm forehead. 

"I'm not watching you die today, my friend."

If he had to play that game still, he could at least try and test the rules. And if he could save himself from having his friend die in his arms again, he was going to take that chance. 

He stood up, and heard Effie's warning hiss coming from the armchair, the sound harsh and unfamiliar, and Javi ignored it completely, walking towards the balcony door. 

It was a warm day, sun peeking from between the clouds, and Javi leaned against the railing, taking the view in. There were six floors to the ground, and Javi's heart clenched nervously, but he inhaled deeply and reminded himself that it didn't matter. 

He heard Yuzuru's muffled cough and he turned around, seeing his teammate still curled on the sofa; but there was also Effie, standing in the open door and looking at him with her unnaturally yellow eyes, fur ruffled and whole silhouette tense. 

"It's not a good look on you." Javi said and the cat hissed, only making Javi grin. 

"Here comes your balance, asshole." 

He turned around, and swung his leg over the railing. 

  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javi needs to get out of a maze. But he has time to figure out how.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here I am! I hope you will like this very long chapter, and I tag my lovely friend [Mary_the_gardener](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mary_the_gardener)

_He was falling – floating, maybe. Floating down? Oh no, up. Floating up? He couldn’t tell anymore what was up or down, left or right – did notions like these still exist?_

_Then he found himself with his feet on the ground; on the grass, actually, since he had nothing but green all around him: narrow paths and high walls made of grass, branches, and leaves. The air felt thick, dusty and cold, and unhealthily humid. He walked down the path where he had – well – landed, and found it was splitting in two identical paths going in different directions. His breath hitched as understanding dawned on him._

_He was in a maze._

_Was he dreaming?_ I just had some odd dream today. There was a maze _, his mother had said. Was he in his mother’s mind? Why? His last memory was his terrifying fall from his balcony – did he die? Was this a kind of limbo? Putting him there had to be another trick played by the witch, but what for? Well, the only way he could find out was to play his turn._

_Javier looked up at the sky. It was evenly grey; neither the sun nor the stars were there to guide him. The path on his left looked empty, but there was an eerie wind in the distance, moving the hedges’ leaves; he then chose to turn right and walked down what looked like an endless corridor, a perfect silence reigning all around him._

_“Perfect, Javier?”_

_He stopped in his tracks, heart beating wildly. “Who’s speaking?” he whispered, but his voice echoed throughout the maze as if he had shouted._

_“Did you find out what perfection is?” the same voice said kindly, and Javier spun around to see a woman with red hair, white skin and a black dress. The look on her face was as kind as her voice._

_“Who are you?” Javier asked. He felt calmer now, though, as if he already knew her._

_“Names are not important. But I’m on your side, and that’s what counts.”_

_Somehow Javier had expected that answer, and just nodded. “Okay, then… it was the witch who put me in this maze, right?” A yellow light flashed in her eyes, and he took it as a yes. “So, this is probably not one of those mazes you have to escape from. It must be a maze where I have to find the center, right?” Again that flash in her eyes. “And in the center of the maze there may be some answers, so… how can I get to it? I don’t have any indication, any…”_

_“Javi, Javi.” The woman shook her head. “You’re a nice guy, but so lazy. And so impulsive. You need to_ think _.”_

_“About what_ perfection _means?”_

_“Yes, for a start. Because you keep on mixing up_ perfection _with_ happiness _. That’s not the right synonym.”_

_“Can you please stop talking like… like the Sphinx, or…” Javier shook his head. “Look, I have no time, and…”_

_“You’re so wrong! Time is exactly wh…” She hissed, hunching her back, as a gust of wind rushed through the path, slapping Javier’s face. He put a hand on his eyes to protect them, but when he heard a growl he opened them up again and thought he saw Effie fading away. Effie?_

_Now in front of him there was the witch, her black and red dyed hair and her red dress shaking violently in the wind, her eyes throwing darts of anger against him._

_“Time, Javier!” The air was carrying the voice of the other woman. “ You have ti…”_

_The witch growled, muffling the second half of the sentence, and Javier took a step backwards. He could have sworn he saw long sharp canines in her mouth. The witch turned to him. “You,” she said furiously. “How dare you challenge me? Didn’t I give you all you asked for your_ perfect day _? Didn’t I tell you the rules?” Javier kept on stepping backwards, his throat constricting. “You can’t escape, Javier, you can only_ play _! But if you_ break the rules _, if you…” Javier didn’t wait for the witch to tell him what was awaiting him and ran away. There was no point, he knew, for the witch could catch him whenever she wanted to, but he ran and ran, away from that woman, away from that tainted wind, away from…_

_“Javi.”_

_That voice. Soft and tranquil as an alpine lake._

_“Yuzu?”_

_There was something glowing on the left at the end of the path, and Javier sprinted towards it._

_“Yuzu, are you there? Yuzu!”_

_“Javi…”_

_Javier ran, the glow getting more and more intense, then he finally turned left and there he was: Yuzu, standing at the center of a kind of clearing, a smile blooming on his lips._

_“Javi!”_

_“Here I am, Yuzu…” But the wind was blowing, making the earth quake, and Javier lost again all notion of what was up and down, left and right, and Yuzu and the maze disappeared like ashes and –_

– Javier sat up abruptly. He blinked, then looked around him. He was at home, in his bed. Effie, rolled in a ball at his feet, lifted her head. He reached for his phone on the nightstand and checked time and date:

_5:38 a.m., the 13 th of March 2016_

So. He was still stuck to this damn Friday. The maze, the witch, the woman claiming to be on his side – had been all a dream? Lately, it was hard to tell reality from dreams. But why should a dream be less important than reality? Less _true_?

_Time, Javier! You have…_

Time. He had time, didn’t he? Living for months the same day again and again meant he was living _more_. His time was multiplied – the witch herself had told him “We have nothing but time”, hadn’t she? That was his weapon. _Time_. Time to listen, to think, to understand.

And fight back.

_ Nth Friday, the 13th of March, 2016 _

Javier woke up at 10.30 a.m., yawned and looked out of the window. It was sunny, and for sure it was also a bit warmer than a late winter usual Canadian day. He stood up and went to the bathroom, where he had a nice shower thanks to the generous amount of shower gel he had squeezed from its quite full container. He felt physically fine, with no hangover at all despite the beers he had drunk the previous night. And mentally… well, at least living the same day for _weeks_ had taught him a couple of things. To better control his wishes. To think before speaking. To make careful choices, a good use of time. And to take advantage of the few positive rules of the game he was playing, specifically, to fulfill his wishes of a more comfortable life. A comfortable day was not a perfect day, though, and he was still trying to understand what _perfection_ meant. Balance, as the witch had said? Good and evil, happiness and sadness, life and death.

_A life for a life_.

He dressed up and packed his sport bag, then padded to the kitchen; Effie immediately came to him, rubbing against his calves and meowing lovingly.

“ _Hola, chica_.” He stroked her head, then went, taking her food from the cupboard, and filled her bowl. “Food is ready!”

Effie trotted happily to her bowl and started eating. Javier stood, watching her for a moment, with a fond smile. It was nice to have a healthy, lovely, and _normal_ cat in his life; even though, from time to time, he had the impression that Effie was watching him with kind of a knowing look in her yellow eyes.

“Okay, _pequeña_ , I need to go. See you later, right?” Javier grabbed his bag and got out. He didn’t meet his pretty next door neighbor – he always wished not to; to figure out his situation, he needed to make his life as simple as possible – and he got to the bus stop right on time to catch it.

_A life for a life_.

How could perfection be achieved when, every 13th of March, Yuzu or him had to die? Javier was trying all the time not to be lazy and impulsive, and to do the right things; still, he didn’t know what perfection was and how to achieve it. How to save both Yuzu and himself.

One of the most intelligent wishes he had fulfilled was to procrastinate Yuzu’s media day. _Keep life as simple as possible_. An unexpected strike had stopped all flights from Japan, so the mess was due on Monday, the 16th. No journalists, no flashes and buzzing all around the rink, no panicking. And Javier could walk into the Cricket Club and breathe in the usual, serene atmosphere of a place where everything was working effectively.

On the way to the cafeteria, he bumped into Raya and joked with him about the twenty dollars the latter still owed him – it was much more “perfect”, Javier had found out, to pester Raya about his debt than to get the money back –, and then he walked into the cafeteria.

“Hi Javi!” Molly greeted him with a bright smile. “How’re you doing today?”

“I’m good, Molly, and you?”

“Very good, _now_ ,” she flirted.

“Can I have a very strong, very Spanish coffee please?” Javier said, not flirting back.

Molly blinked and her smile immediately turned from happy to professional. “Of course,” she answered, and went to the coffee machine.

Javier watched her with a bitter smile on his lips. Molly didn’t know that every day for a couple of weeks he had kept getting into the cafeteria and talking to her at length, in order to understand if he’d really like to date her. He wouldn’t; Molly was a lovely girl, but not the right one for him – just as Javi was not the right man for her. So he had learned that she wasn’t stubborn or too self-confident, and not flirting back when she tried to make a move had shown the best and quickest way to turn her gently down.

“Here it is,” Molly said, putting a cup of dark coffee on the counter.

Javier took out the wallet and paid. “Thank you, Molly, have a good day.”

“You too, Javi.”

He walked to one of the big armchairs overlooking the rink, sat down, registered that Yuzu wasn’t on the ice yet, and checked the time. Okay, a few seconds and Gaby would join him to talk about…

“Hey, Javi, mind if I join you? I have great news!”

_Here we go_.

“Not at all, Gaby, hi! What’s up?”

And she told him how she found a home for the cat she had fostered, then burst into tears because in the end she got “so attached to the little fucker”. Just like yesterday – well, the yesterday version of today – Javi suggested that she should keep the cat, since she loved her…

“Oh, Javi, I’d really _love_ to keep her, but how can I? I’m always on the run, or abroad. I have no idea who could take care of her when I’m not there…”

Yeah, that was what she had already told him. Today, though, Javier was prepared.

“Well, _I_ have an idea.” Javier was going to take a business card out of his wallet, but at that moment Yuzu entered the rink, bowing to touch the ice before skating towards Nam. Javier checked the time once again; Yuzu had come to the club a little bit earlier than “yesterday”. How bizarre. But that was the truth. Javier had spent countless Fridays the 13th of March seeing all the people and animals around him doing the same exact things at the same exact time, but Yuzu remained unpredictable. Why? Javi would have paid to understand. He shrugged and handed out the card to Gaby. “She is a cat-sitter,” he explained. “I met her when I was looking for someone who could take care of Effie. She’s nice and honest; you can totally trust her. And she doesn’t cost a fortune. Why don’t you give her a call? Then you can make up your mind about the cat.”

“Oh, thank you!” Gabrielle said with a smile, taking the card; then her smile dimmed, though. “Also because I think she has started to love me too.”

“No wonder, Gaby.”

“You’re nice, Javi, but… until yesterday she was a little hooligan, you know? An adorable pest. One moment, she was all sweet and purring, and the next moment she was scratching me or my furniture, or… since yesterday night, though, when I spoke with the friend who will take her… since then she has _only_ been sweet and purring, she’s the most loving in the whole world, as if… as if she _knew_ that I was going to give her away and didn’t want me to. That’s so lovely, but weird too, isn’t it?”

Javier felt a cold shiver run through his body. “A bit,” was all he could say. Why did he feel so alarmed? “More lovely than weird, though.”

“Maybe,” Gaby sighed, and fumbled with her phone until she found the picture she was looking for and handed the phone to Javier. “Look! She’s so big now.”

Javier took the phone: yeah, she wasn’t the starving kitten he’d found in a garbage can anymore. She was an elegant tortoiseshell cat, with her peculiar red and black fur… wait.

The witch had red and black hair. Red lips. She always wore a black dress.

Could it be that…? _Oh, come on Javi, this is too stupid even for you_ , a small voice inside his head told him. But another voice inside his heart told him: _It could be_. Javier gave the phone back to Gaby, muttering something like “She’s beautiful,” then his eyes looked for Yuzu. He was deep in thought, forefinger on his lower lip, and he was the cutest human being Javier had ever seen.

_It could be_.

“Yuzu, what’s your idea of a perfect day?”

They were strolling in a park just outside the Cricket Club. Since he understood he had so much time, Javier had made up his mind: he needed to get to know Yuzu better. Apparently, Yuzu was the key to finally living the perfect day, and Javier needed to understand what was tying their lives together. So every new 13th of March he would ask Yuzu to hang out. And Yuzu would usually say yes, just like today. Then, at some point, Javier asked him again and again about _his_ perfect day; he felt that a proper answer from Yuzu (not a simple “On the ice”) could be a way – maybe _the_ way – to get closer to the solution.

Yuzu gave him a puzzled smile. “Why do you keep asking?” he said.

Javi froze. How could he possibly know about… “Have I already asked you this question?” he said, looking intently at him. Yuzu blushed a bit and shook his head.

“I don’t know,” he answered, “it sound familiar. Like a… how you say? _Téjà bu?_ ”

“ _Déjà vu_ ,” Javier corrected him, a gentle wave of fondness washing through his heart. Hanging out with Yuzu didn’t take him closer to the truth so far, but surely closer to Yuzu himself, and Javier couldn’t help thinking that it was the only beautiful gift he got from his groundhog day’s situation. “So? Your idea of a perfect day? Don’t tell me ‘on the ice’, though. Too easy.”

“But true!” Yuzu protested, then he sighed. “Okay. Of course on the ice. I win competition. All people I love is with me. I… how you say? I’m in peace with me?”

“At peace with myself.” Peace. Balance. “Well, I suppose I agree with you.”

“I know.”

“Another _déjà vu_?” Javier asked, perplexed. How could Yuzu possibly know, _how_?

Yuzuru blushed again. “More or less,” he said, then he nodded towards Javi’s neck. “Nice necklace,” he said.

Javier lifted a hand to the yin and yang pendant. “Thank you. So you like it?”

“Yin and yang,” Yuzu said. “Is important concept. The two force in universe…”

“Two opposite forces. Yes, I know.”

“Not opposite, more… _compelmentary_?”

“ _Complementary_. You mean that they need each other?”

“Of course.” Yuzu made a wide gesture with his hands, as if he wanted to point at all the world around them. “Day and night, hot and cold… everything need contrary. And together they make something new. Day and night, make twenty-four hours circle. Hot and cold, make four season. And so on.”

For some moments, Javier just walked silently. Maybe that was it? Perfection was a kind of… synthesis? He listened carefully to Yuzu’s breath. A bit labored. It would get worse and worse; Javi knew it all too well by now. Before the end of this not-perfect day, Yuzuru would die – or Javi would die. And, although he knew that he would wake up again on the 13th of March 2016, and that both Yuzu and him would be alive and kicking, every time one of them died was horrible, and frightening; what if he was going to finally wake up on the 14th of March and find out that Yuzuru was gone forever? But maybe there was kind of a chemical reaction between life and death, Yuzuru and him – and the result was perfection, the result was the definite solution. Maybe…

“Javi, can we go back to club?” Yuzu shook him out of his reasoning. “Too much dust in air, I not breathe well and need inhaler.”

Oh, no.

“Why don’t you have your inhaler with you?” Javier nearly screamed.

Yuzu blinked. “Well. I…”

“Never mind. Come on, let’s go. Quickly.”

They walked back to the club and reached the locker room as fast as they could, and Yuzuru went right to his bag, rummaging through it until he found his inhaler and lifted it to his mouth.

Javier stood still, watching Yuzu try to breathe deeply and evenly. He already knew what was going to happen; there was no way for Yuzu to avoid his final asthma attack – to avoid death. Unless Javi himself chose to commit suicide, and Javi had learned that he definitely preferred to be the one dying… but how, in a locker room?

“Ja-Javi,” Yuzu gasped, “I-I can’t…”

_Fuck_.

“Come on, Yuzu, sit down,” Javi said. He had had time to learn what to do in case of an asthma attack, and he did it every single day, even though he knew there was no point. “Okay, here, on the bench. Now, lean forward a bit and put your elbows on your knees… yes. Good boy.” He knelt in front of Yuzu, whose lips were now totally blue. _Please_ , Javi prayed silently, _please, let him live. Please!_ “Come on, _cariño_ , breathe with me. In, out. In, out.”

Yuzuru tried, he tried so hard, but he was terribly pale, trembling and scared, and Javi felt his own heart breaking.

“I ca-can’t,” Yuzu stuttered. “Ja-Javi, I…” He couldn’t finish the sentence because he fainted, falling forwards.

Javi caught him in his arms. “No, Yuzu, please,” he said, but of course there was no answer. He carefully laid Yuzu on the floor; he looked beautiful and defeated like a withering flower. “Yuzu, darling, _please_.” What if Yuzu was meant to wake up never again? What if Javier would have to live in a world without him? Yuzu wasn’t breathing anymore. “Please!” Javier cried again, then on an impulse he leaned in and started what he hoped was an effective attempt at mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, thoughts and memories whirling in his mind as he blew air into Yuzuru’s lungs.

_You lost the thing that means the most to you_. Another try, some more air for Yuzu. _Mom, what would your perfect day look like?_ _I’d like to spend it with all of you_. Come on, Yuzu, come on. _All people I love is with me_. Another try…

Yuzuru gasped, coughed. Opened his eyes.

“Yuzu?” Javier whispered, still bent over him.

“Javi.”

“You’re alive.” _They_ were alive. Both of them.

“Javi.” Yuzuru reached for Javier’s cheek and caressed it. He was still pale, but his lips weren’t livid anymore. “Javi.”

“Yuzu.” Javier took Yuzuru’s hand in his and kept it on his cheek – and then Yuzu leaned up and kissed him. And Javi kissed him back.

_Everything need contrary_. It was like Javi had never kissed anyone before. _And together make something new_. It was like _he_ was breathing for the first time in his life. _Day and night, make twenty-four hours circle. Hot and cold, make four season_. And when they broke the kiss and stared at each other, Javier realized that maybe, finally, the truth was within reach.

Could perfection simply mean love?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, this is a whole mess and I'm very sorry for [kabigon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kabigon) who will have to pick up the plot. 
> 
> A warning to the readers: this chapter contains mentions of domestic violence and femicide.

Dark shadows lingering in the corners of his bedroom, Javier opened his eyes to find the purplish sky typical of the light polluted night of Toronto. From outside came the few car sounds of a city that never truly sleeps, and looking at the alarm clock he assessed that it was in fact just a little before 5 am.

For a second his heartbeat sped up, memories of the unprecedented ending of his previous day coming back to his mind and, together with the unusual darkness surrounding his awakening, igniting a little spark of hope in his chest. With a new flow of energy running in his body he raised himself up and reached for his phone.  
  
The light of the screen hit his eyes and he slumped back on the mattress with a groan. Still. The. Same. Freaking. Day.  
  
A weird, apathic mood descended upon him as he just lay there, watching the shadows flicker and ever so slowly grow thinner as the minutes ticked away and the day – the umpteenth Friday – crawled on. He felt so detached: what had happened the day before with Yuzu had made him feel so close to end this all, to finally solve this riddle and earn his passage to the long awaited Saturday. But instead he had woken up to one more Friday, and his scrambled-up brain just refused to have anything more to do with it.

It’s like this, with his back resting on the mattress and his eyes trained on the ceiling, while the night was still unwilling to give up its control of the sky, that Javier heard something he had never head before. At first, he interpreted it as sex noises, distractedly observing that it was quite a weird hour for his neighbours to be going at it. But then the sounds changed: there were some loud tuds, and a crash of something breaking to the ground. And also some other muffled noises, noises Javier wished wouldn’t be what he thought, and he squeeze his eyes, remaining still on his bed, unable to do anything but wish it away.  
  
But the noises didn’t stop, if anything, at a certain point he thought he started to hear some sniffling and the low murmur of a female, pleading voice.  
Eventually he heard a male voice say: “All you can do is cry and cry, you’re just a worthless little thing.” and then all Javier could hear were the broken sobs of his neighbour.  
  


When the sky became clear he finally got up, still upset by the things he’d heard for the first time on this Friday and by the fact that his wishes didn’t have any effect on it. Maybe, he thought, it was just one of those things he could not influence, like the way he would do in his on ice jump practice.

Having set part of his new worries this way Javier proceeded to his morning routine as usual. He took a long shower, pondering which little detail to change and which to keep today, and a considerable amount of water went down the drain as he reflected on Yuzuru and what that kiss had meant. He had no doubt anymore on the fact that he cared deeply for him, a feeling that went well beyond the simple – well, not really so - concept of training mates. But, despite the fact that Yuzuru had more than once said something which had made Javier think he was not completely unaware of the previously failed Fridays, he didn’t like the idea of being the only one to remember their first kiss, or first kisses. Or what if, once he finally landed on Saturday 14th, he would forget all the failed Fridays and remember only the last one? That would mean that they would both forget about the first time.  
  
Javier strongly felt that he didn’t want this to happen, and he wished the witch would materialize and clarify this little detail of their deal, but (and maybe it was for the best, since he was still in the shower and naked) nothing happened. He sighed and, finally turning off the water, decided he would have to fix this detail with his own devices.  
  
Happy with his new resolution Javier got dressed, messaged Brian that he would be a little late for training and made for the kitchen to have a substantial breakfast, deciding to try and avoid the talk with Molly for that day. On his way he passed by and unperturbed Effie who, as usual - at last for this damned Friday, totally ignored him. While his eggs were cooking he grabbed his phone and with a few taps booked an appointment to the vet.

“So now maybe we can find out what’s wrong with you, pricesa” He said, laying the phone on the table to go and turn off the stove.

“Solo no tengo hambre.” Came the unamused answer.

“And do you know what abuela always says?” replied Javier sitting down on a stool, “That when one loses their appetite it means that the end is near. So that’s only one more reason to have our little trip.”

“Vale.” Sighed Effie, promptly going back to sleep.  
  


Skipping the conversation with Molly hadn’t been Javier’s only reason to take his time: he had purposefully made it so he would be going out around the same time as the first Friday, just to make sure his wish to encounter his neighbour would come true – you never knew with that ambiguous witch.

Somehow it worked and as he was closing the door behind himself she appeared in the hallway with her dog. It felt like the last time he had seen her had been ages ago, but now Javier took care to observe her reaction to his “good morning” a little more keenly, and noticed how her smile was a little strained, not really reaching the eyes, and how there was something in her walk, the way she leaned more on one side and seemed to be hiding a wince with every step. She kept watching him as he hurried away, but this time Javier realized that it was not a flirty gaze: there was longing, that’s for sure, like she was watching something precious slip away, but also sadness, an immense sadness.  
  
The rest of the morning went on as usual: in between carefully making his wishes so as to avoid Raya’s money and the media crew his brain kept being busy thinking about the neighbour: why had he heard that today? And was there really nothing he could do to help her? Maybe he could do something once he managed to get out of this hellish loophole

His thoughts got deviated from that only when the time for the talk with gabby arrived – this time happening on a bench by the rink while they were lacing their skates. He suggested her the cat sitter again and then, as in the day before, she showed him _that_ picture. The resemblance was uncanny, and Javier felt a shiver running down his spine. But then Brian urged them to hurry up and get on the ice, and he had to push his suspicions in the back of his mind to be considered better later.  
  
After an incredibly good practice in which Javi landed almost all of his jumps and even managed two clean run-throughs – hadn’t the witch said this was something he couldn’t wish for? Weird. – Javier asked Yuzuru to hang out like he’s been doing for a few Fridays, and they made their way toward a park a bit further than usual.  
  
“So, if it’s a day without skating, you want to know?” Yuzuru was saying as they walked along a gravel path near the lake-shore. “Maybe I’d like to go see a baseball match with dad.”  
  
Javier looked at him with extreme fondness: being able to hear Yuzuru talk about this other part of his life, getting to know the real person, felt incredible to him, and he really hope that, if the key to this curse was in their relationship, he would be able to solve it without wasting precious moments doomed to be lost from the memory.  
  
“Yes, if it’s without skating,” continued Yuzuru “I guess it would be in Japan, with the people close to me.”

Javier nodded, a thought about how adorable Yuzuru was forming in his mind. But then something on the other side of the water caught his eyes and his attentions shifted.  
  
It was her. The girl living next door. With a man. They were about a hundred meters far, a narrow cove stretching in between them and Javier, but he could clearly see that, even if in hushed tones, they were arguing. Instantly, Javier wished for the man to turn around and go away, but nothing happened.  
  
“Javi, what’s wrong? Why did you stop?” The concerned voice of Yuzuru shook Javier out of the paralyzed state he’d fallen in for a second without noticing.

“It’s that couple” He tried to explain, nodding with his head in their direction, “They’re my neighbours. And…”

“And?” Yuzuru urged him on.

“And this morning I heard him beat her up.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“It doesn’t look good now” Observed then Yuzuru, looking across the water at the couple who was still discussing in hushed tones, but there was no way to misinterpret their body language.

“No, it doesn’t” Confirmed Javier

“Maybe we should interrupt them? We’re not far, if we follow the path around the water we-

  
But his sentence was left hanging mid-hair as they observed the man unleash a solid slap on the woman’s face. She stumbled back, but then stepped closer to him, as if afraid of staying away from him, as if she needed him. Then, to the horror of Javier and Yuzuru’s eyes, he shoved her on the chest and she fell backward heavily, hitting on the ground.

“HEY!” Shouted Javier on an impulse, sprinting on the path to reach them, and as the man saw him coming he turned around and fled away. Javier tried to go as fast as his legs would let him, running on the pathway, but at the same time of his shout Yuzuru had spread his swan-feathered wings and had quickly made his way across the water. When Javier reached the girl, he was already kneeling down next to her corpse, hot tears streaking his eyes and getting mixed with the blood pooling on the ground and painting in red the white stone on which she had hit her head.  
  
Then Yuzuru lifted his eyes, and their terrified gazes locked together.  
  
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Everyone~! For those wondering "who the hell is this person?" my previous username is blinking_post. I probably should have posted another work before posting here but I was too lazy to work on anything else so here we are.
> 
> To finish off this opening note, I just wanted to say that on my part it's been a rollercoaster of a ride and I'm so glad I'm done with my chapter. Thanks to all the previous authors because without them I wouldn't have written anything like this, and after looking over and re-reading this for about a week I've grown quite fond of it. Anyhow, I hope that you enjoy.
> 
> WARNING: Vague reference/mentions of domestic abuse/violence

\----

It’s Friday, March 13th. Yuzuru opens his eyes when the alarm goes off and feels like he hasn’t slept at all. He groans, the pain emanating from deep within his muscles a dull ache he has more than gotten used to after so many years but still it remains unwanted.

He rakes a hand through his hair and sighs, disheartened. It’s the same dream again. Over and and over and over like a dream within a dream within a dream. Like there’s no escaping. He remembers random glimpses -- an elevator, the curve of Javi’s smile, Effie -- but always it comes down to this: Javi asks him, “Yuzu, what is your idea of a perfect day?” He answers something, anything, like “on the ice” because Javi loves cheeky answers and even dream him likes putting a smile on his face. Then suffocating, everything falls black, new glimpses, and again Javi asks him, “Yuzu, what is your idea of a perfect day?”

It all bleeds together, the dream. No, not just a dream. A nightmare that haunts him.

So, the perfect day, huh? He doesn’t know how to answer in his dreams and that’s true for real life too. He doesn’t even know what a perfect skate is and he’s been looking for that answer much longer than he’s been trying to answer the meaning of a “perfect day”.

The question dwells in his mind throughout his morning shower, through breakfast and slipping on his training gear and his everyday clothes and his socks and shoes, through being driven to the club and putting on his skates and gliding across the ice, a mystery he can’t help but fixate on now that it’s been presented to him. It feels important, like he needs to be able to answer this question.

Everything feels slightly off, an eerie sense of familiarity, like he’s lived this before, so he tries to do something different from what he had planned to combat that ugly, dreadful feeling resting in the pit of his stomach. It doesn’t help that his chest has felt tight all day.

He forgot his inhaler. He realized it when he put Pooh and his water bottle down on the ledge of the boards earlier. He should have gone back to grab it, something nagged at him telling him he should but he brushed it aside. He was already on the ice and it’s not the first time his chest has felt tight. Plus he hasn’t had an attack in ages. Training like this will help him in the long run.

Except, he’s a complete idiot after all. Asthma attacks don’t care if there’s an inhaler handy because they’ll come when they come. He’s on the ice wheezing for air. Brian is screaming and Javi is slipping something into his mouth. His inhaler, he recognizes, and squeezes for the dispersal of medicine.

It’s not working. He squeezes again, feels another dispersal of medicine and still, nothing. He panics, his vision swimming, and the last thing he sees before his vision blacks out is Javi’s necklace.

\----

It’s Friday, March 13th. Yuzuru wakes up when his alarm goes off, groaning at the ache he feels in his muscles, particularly that bruise against his hip. He pulls up his shirt and sees it yellowing. The fall on that one from one of the days prior must have been brutal but he can’t remember it anymore. Actually, he doesn’t remember much anymore. Everything feels like it’s happened so long ago. All he remembers now is Javi asking him, “Yuzu, what is your idea of a perfect day?” and not knowing how to answer properly. How could he? He doesn’t know what a perfect skate is yet, how could he define it for a day?

There are other glimpses too, other shots that he remembers. Like Javi’s smile, the curve of it. Like Effie. An elevator. Clutching at his chest because he can’t breathe. That had felt so real. A necklace too, perfect Yin and Yang hung around Javi’s neck he’s sure he’s never seen before nothing but darkness and then waking up to the sound of his alarm.

He doesn’t remember having had this dream before and yet it feels like it’s the only dream he’s ever had. It feels like every time he wakes up the cycle repeats, like there’s no escape. Like he’s trapped in a dream within a dream within a dream, an endless cycle of repetition.

It’s a silly thought and that road lies only madness so Yuzuru brushes it off. He can’t brush off the question though. A perfect day? What is a perfect day? It’s stupid of him to be so fixated. There are other things to think about, like Worlds starting in two weeks and yet through breakfast with his mother, through getting ready and arriving at the club the question sticks in his mind.

The necklace pops into his mind mid-thought while he’s in the middle of his warm-up stretches on the ice. Maybe it’s a hint. Maybe it’s his mind trying to tell him something. But what?

Everything just… Everything feels weird and he’s tried doing what he can to offset the unease in his gut but like the question it sticks around.

When their session ends Javi asks him for a quick stroll around the park. “Fresh air might be good,” he had said. “Clear the mind a little. What do you think?”

He had hummed an affirmative. “Sounds good.”

It was a good idea in theory and it does help ease his feelings a bit. That might have more to do with Javi’s presence than the air though. In fact it’s a little too dusty for his liking, wishing that he’d at least have grabbed his mask before they started their walk.

Javi asks him, “Yuzu, what is your idea of a perfect day?” and it sends him reeling even though he keeps the smile firmly on his face 

Yuzuru asks himself, _is this a dream? Am I in a dream?_ and asks Javi, “Why do you keep asking?”

It’s not a dream after all he realizes when Javi asks intently, concerned, “Have I already asked you this question?”

He flushes immediately, embarrassed. Of course it’s not a dream. He remembers everything from the moment he woke up to here and now and there’d been nothing fantastical. There’s always something a little off in dreams, like flying or talking animals or _something._ He shakes his head to clear the thought, and spews out the first thing that comes to mind.

‘I don’t know. It sound familiar. Like a… how you say? _Téjà bu?”_

_“Déjà vu,”_ Javi corrects kindly, gently, and Yuzuru is thankful. He’d rather be corrected from a friend than make a fool of himself in front of strangers, in front of reports who expect perfect English from him even though they know he struggles with it. Javi knows, understands what it’s like to have their expectant stares on him as he struggles through answers. He’d been alone then but he won’t let Yuzuru be alone now. Javi really is so good, too good sometimes, making Yuzuru’s chest ache with love and affection.

“So?” Javi prods. “What’s your idea of a perfect day? Don’t tell me ‘on the ice’ though. Too easy.”

“But it’s true!” He protests right away. Dream him thought so too. He sighed a little, giving it a bit more thought. “Okay. Of course on the ice. I win competition. All people I love is with me. I… how you say? I’m in peace with myself?”

“‘At peace with myself.’” Again, a gentle correction. “Well, I supposed I agree with you.”

“I know.” Except he doesn’t, not really. He’s never heard Javi say it before at least.

“Another _déjà vu?”_ Javi asked.

He flushes again -- he can feel his cheeks turning pink -- and says, “More or less.” It’s more. It definitely feels like déjà vu, like he’s lived this exact scenario before. Not just once though. It’s like he’s lived this exact same scenario over and over and over again.

He spots it then, the pendant from his dream. He remembers thinking he’d never seen Javi wear it before, but that can’t be true if Javi’s wearing it now. It’s not a chicken or the egg situation. He must have seen Javi wear the pendant before and carried it subconsciously into his dream but when? Where? He stares at it, transfixed.

“Nice necklace.”

Javi touches the pendant with a finger, nail along the outer edge. “Thank you. So you like it?”

Yuzuru nods. “Yin and yang is important concept. The two force in universe…”

“Two opposite forces. Yes, I know.”

Yuzu resists the urge to shake his head. “Not opposite. More… compelmentary?”

“Complementary. You mean that they need each other?”

“Of course,” Yuzu says, gesturing vaguely to the world around him. “Day and night, hot and cold… everything need contrary. And together they make something new. Day and night, make twenty-four hours circle. Hot and cold, make four seasons. And so on.”

For a few steps they don’t say anything, Javi mulling his words over carefully. Yuzuru waits patiently for Javi to understand on his own. All the while he feels his chest pull tight. It’s the dust in the air and not Javi’s presence next to him, he realizes.

“Javi, can we go back to club? Too much dust in air, I do not breathe well and need inhaler.”

Javi nearly shouts at him, more panicked than Yuzuru. “Why don’t you have your inhaler?!”

Yuzuru blinks, shocked into momentary speechlessness. “Well… I-”

“Never mind. Come on, let’s go. Quickly.”

The pace Javi set back to the locker room is too quick and Yuzuru knows he should tell Javi to slow down. He already had trouble breathing before and this pace is only exacerbating it but Javi looked like a man on a mission and so Yuzuru decides to keep his mouth shut. It wouldn’t matter much in the end anyway since his inhaler will ease the way for air once he gets his hand on it.

Javi lifts it to his mouth and it feels like his dream. He’s trying his damnedest to breathe and the medicine isn’t working properly. His throat closes tighter and tighter by the second. “Ja-javi,” he gasped out. “I-I can’t-”

The face Javi makes while Yuzuru’s vision whites out breaks his heart a little. He wants to reach out and ease the pain around Javi’s eyes with a caress but no part of his body is listening to him.

He comes back to, coughing and gasping for air.

Javi, bent over him, whispers with some awe in his voice, “Yuzu?”

“Javi,” he answers, like the inevitable response to a call.

“You’re alive,” he says like it’s all he wants and Yuzuru can’t help it. Javi makes him bend his rules so much sometimes. 

“Javi,” he says right before he reaches out, caressing Javi’s cheek the way he wanted to earlier before he’d passed out. “Javi.”

Here he is bending the rules he’s set for himself even more. He leans up and kisses Javi. Javi kisses him back and it feels like perfection.

\----

It’s Friday, March 13th, and Yuzuru groans at the sound of his alarm going off. He didn’t want to wake up. It’d been a nice dream. Kind of. Well, it had ended nicely at least. The start of it though, did leave a bit of room for desire. Over and over again, like a trap, like he’d wake up from one dream only to find himself in another, Javi asking him again and again, “What’s your idea of a perfect day?” He’d given different answers each time.

“On the ice,” he had said one time.

And another, “Perfect skate.”

And another: Stealing Javi’s sal and beating him with it.

Most of his answers had been cheeky, joking because he liked seeing Javi smile and it seems dream him wanted to make him smile too. But that last one, the final dream, still vague too but the one he remembers most clearly, like it’d been important that he did. Javi had asked once again, and something changed in the rhythm. Maybe Javi pushed, maybe dream him had felt like answering as truthfully as he can on a whim. The truth will remain unknown, lost somewhere into the abyss of dreamspace. Peace, he had answered. Peace with himself. If there ever was such a thing.

He remembers too, catching Javi’s necklace – Yin and Yang – explaining to Javi the true concept, not opposites but in fact complements and then trying to catch his breath. Trying to catch his breath and not being able to before the feeling dissolved away and melded into a kiss. He can’t remember who kissed whom but it hardly matters, especially in a dream.

His skin feels hot at the thought but tries to store the feeling of Javi’s lips on his away. Of course he wants to kiss Javi. He always wants to kiss Javi. When he’s being kind, when he’s being dumb, when he’s flirting with the lady at the café to get that extra shot of expresso. He won’t let himself have Javi though, even when he thinks he sees Javi looking sometimes. He’s set rules for himself. Skating comes first, school comes second. There is no time for anything else.

It’s only a dream, he tells himself. Only a dream. He wouldn’t- He wouldn’t kiss Javi in real life, would he? Would he give in? He almost did before, didn’t he? At Worlds last year when Javi had been wiping his tears away, knocking their heads softly together and telling him, “I may have won today but you are always the champion in my heart,” Yuzuru had wanted to kiss him so much right then and there, thinking to himself _Javi, why are you like this? Why are you so…_ **_you._ **

He’s lying. He would. If he thought for a second Javi was serious about him, wasn’t just playing because he was bored, he’d give in in a heartbeat. He’d break all the rules.

Through his morning routine, through his drive to the club and putting on his skates, hopping onto the ice and training everything – Javi’s question, the pendant, Yin and Yang, the dream wrapped within a dream wrapped within another dream endlessly, the _kiss_ – plague is mind. What does it all mean? Are they all connected? It’s like it’s the only thing he ever thinks about anymore though that can’t be true. Can it?

In his dream Yuzuru had told Javi that Yin and Yang meant complementary forces but the truth is it’s more complicated than that. It’s a symbol of the balance in the universe. One cannot exist without the other. Together they create something new, a complete whole instead of two broken halves. They’re entwined together forever, which is why each half always has a bit of the other.

Dream Javi keeps asking him over and over, “What is your idea of a perfect day?” but maybe the thought behind the question had been wrong to begin with. Its foundations are built on faults.

All day, from the moment Javi had entered the rink, the day has felt different from normal. The way Javi looks at him is different, is new, like he’s seeing Yuzuru again for the first time. There’s anticipation building within Yuzuru even though he tries to tamp it down, tries to squash it and kill it. When Javi asks him for a stroll around the park near the club, Yuzuru says yes before he can think about it, like it’s a habit built upon months and months of saying yes although it’s the first time Javi has asked. It’s all so strange. There’s definitely something wrong with this day.

It’s a surprise and yet not when Javi asks him, “Yuzu, what is your idea of a perfect day?”

“I think about this a lot,” he says after a long pause. Not a truth and yet not a lie.

“You do?” Javi asks, genuinely surprised.

“I do,” he confirms. “It comes in my dreams. Again and again, Javi asks me this question in my dream. It is hard to explain what happens in my dream but it feel important. I think it is why Javi keep asking. But maybe it mean more I keep asking myself.”

“So?” Javi prods and Yuzuru smiles because he can almost see Javi’s ears perk up.

“I think Javi’s question is… a lie?”

“A lie?”

“I don’t know. Hard to explain in English,” Yuzuru says, trying to gather his thoughts.

“Please try?” Javi’s pleading eyes, they’re one of Yuzuru’s weaknesses.

He nods and tries again. “I mean Javi ask about perfect day but like, perfect day cannot exist, I don’t think. It is like Javi’s necklace.”

Javi’s eyes widen, his hand flying to his throat to touch said necklace. “You remember my necklace?”

Yuzuru tilts his head in confusion. “Of course. It is also in dream.”

“Oh.” And then, a beat later, “So what do you mean a perfect day cannot exist?”

“Like Yin and Yang,” he says. “One cannot exist without the other, so like that perfect day cannot exist. Perfect cannot exist without not perfect. If everything is perfect then nothing is perfect. Like if there is only dark or there is only light, how can we have day? Everything goes into chaos that way.”

“Tell me about it,” Javi grumbles.

Another tilt of his head in confusion. “I am?”

Javi chuckles, apologizing. “Sorry, bad expression. So you were saying a perfect day cannot exist?”

Yuzuru lets the first part go and answers the second half. “I don’t think so, Javi. How can we tell if something is perfect without not perfect? I think there must be the contrast, so I think there are only ever ‘perfect’ days with not perfect moments or perfect moments with not perfect days. I think it is how universe stay balanced.”

The grin that splits Javi’s face sets his heart alight, his chest squeezing tight. Not an unfamiliar feeling. He’s used to his chest feeling tight around Javi all the time.

“What would I do without you Yuzu?”

He pretends to think about it, finger tapping against his chin, eyes to the blue, blue skies. “Hmm, I think Javi be sad without me. Javi suffer forever.”

The grin on Javi’s face turns into a laugh. “Yep,” he agrees wholeheartedly. “I would be miserable without you.”

Again his chest tightens more. Javi is so strange today too. More giving than normal. More _playful_ than normal. Affectionate too. It seems a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

“So Yuzu, what’s a perfect moment for you?”

“I do not want to say.”

“Come on. Please? I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”

Yuzuru rolls his eyes, trying to not let his fondness show. “We are not children Javi.” Damn it, those pleading eyes again. He takes a deep breath, and lets one of his secrets go. “Perfect moment for me is coming to rink and seeing Javi there.” And then, because he can’t resist teasing Javi, “Maybe more like I am on ice with Brian waiting for Javi and Javi is stumbling onto ice like fool because he ignore all his three alarms.”

“Hey!”

“You ask. If you do not like answer then do not ask.”

“Fine, I did. You really wouldn’t change anything in the past if you could? Like make me show up on time so you don’t have to wait?”

Another hard question, this one he hasn’t heard Javi ask before but one he had dwelled on by himself for far longer. “No,” he says. “I do not know how changing one thing could change everything else. Can be better but can also be a lot worse. And if I always think about what I cannot change, I think I go crazy. Javi should not think about it either. Do what you can to change what you can and let go of what you cannot change. I think that is the only way to be happy and at peace with self.”

Javi’s face morphs into something gentle. “Yuzu, really, what would I do without you?”

“I tell you, you be sad and suffer forever,” he says, a cough forming at the tail end of his sentence before morphing into a sudden onset asthma attack. “Javi,” he wheezes out, collapsing onto his knees. “Can’t… breathe!”

Javi is on him in a second, frantically searching him. “Why do you do this? Why do you never bring your inhaler?” Yuzuru hears and wonders _...what?_ only to lose the thought along with his next breath.

“Breathe,” Javi begs. “Please breathe. _Please.”_

Yuzuru tries. He really does, but he can’t hold on for much longer, feels the life fading away from him. Javi’s face looks so pained, wrecked, and Yuzuru wants to reach out, wants to caress him and tell him, “I am an idiot for never telling you I love you. I was only kidding. Please don’t suffer forever.”

He comes back to Javi hovering over him, his chest feeling like it’d taken a beating, strangers surrounding him. He hears sirens in the distance coming closer and closer, and then he’s transported onto a stretcher. The paramedics push Javi back, fitting an oxygen mask and line over his face but he pushes them aside, reaching out for Javi.

“Javi,” he calls out weakly. “Javi.”

Javi is holding his hand the next second. “I’m here,” he reassures. “I’m gonna be right here, okay? I’m not going anywhere so you can’t either.”

The next time he wakes up he’s in the hospital. His mom is in the chair looking at him, her concern quickly morphing to relief. His eyes lock with Javi’s but Javi stands back, letting Yuzuru’s mother have her moment fussing over Yuzuru first.

“Mother,” he says in Japanese, embarrassed. “I’m fine. All better now.”

“Fine, fine,” she relents, but her brows are still furrowed in concern. Her eyes dart to Javi still patiently waiting, then tells Yuzuru, “I’ll go get you some water.”

“You’re okay,” Javi says the moment they’re alone.

There’s something in Javi’s face, his eyes and the tone of his voice that tells Yuzuru not to downplay this moment, not to brush it off like he’d done with his mother. So he reaches out, takes a hand into his, and squeezes it reassuringly. “I’m okay.”

\----

It’s been a long journey but they’re near the close now, finally in the endgame after so long. Effie can feel it just the same as she can feel the throb in her ribcage. She’s felt it for however many days now, trapped in this repetitive cycle with Javi, never actually getting to go to the vet. It wouldn’t have mattered in the end, she knew. When the day reset her pain would have come back but still it irked at her.

Lady Fox’s presence curls around her, projected from miles and miles away.

“Sorry,” she seems to say, trying to send Effie as much warmth as she can.

“It’s okay,” Effie replies, winding herself around said warmth. Just a little more and everything will be alright.

Lady Fox is young and naïve with no parent to show her the ropes before being abandoned. This is her first go around and yes she tends to go for dramatics and histrionics but Effie’s not sure she was any different the first time she tried to earn an extra life. It’d been hell, and the guy was even more dumb than Javi. Effie didn’t think it would ever end.

“Are you okay?” She sends off. “Everything healed now?”

She gets back a fond, grateful yes.

“Sorry,” Effie sends this time. “I really thought you were attacking Javi.”

There are two ways to get an extra life if you’re a cat. Either you steal a life and claim it as your own (which is why cats sometimes get flattened in the middle of the road. The stupid ones think they can cheat this way, only to realize too late cat versus car means car almost always wins especially since humans hardly ever swerve) or you help someone restore the balance in their life, clear a knot in their soul. Easier said than done, especially nowadays when humans are… what they are. Selfish. Greedy. Lazy. So much more and so much worse.

But Javi had been kind to Lady Fox. Lady Fox had been thrown away, weak and dying in the darkness, unable to do anything, and Javi had found her, had taken her in and healed her, had given her a good home to go to when he couldn’t keep her, and Lady Fox had hoped to return the favor, had hoped to restore balance into Javi’s life, give him something good in return and maybe get an extra life at the end of it all if the deities deemed the deed worthy.

Except, it hadn’t really worked out that way because, in addition to everything else, humans were also dumb, Javi included, and Lady Fox’s try at melodramatics really did not help. She thought it would spurn Javi into action but really, it didn’t do anything but antagonize him, made him want to fight back instead of listen, calling her a witch again and again.

What makes it all the harder is that Javi has to find the answer himself, has to find the _right_ answer for him and neither Lady Fox nor Effie know what that is. Effie has done whatever she can to help Javi and Lady Fox, of course, without breaking the rules, including roping Yuzuru in to help because Javi was never going to get it on his own.

Effie has been playing at this game too long. Eight lifetimes have passed and she’s on her last life, her soul old and weary. She’s led a few good ones and this, living with Javi, sharing meals and cuddles and loving Javi and being loved back, it’s a nice way for things to end. She’s not looking for another one. When death comes, she knows she will be ready. Before then it's high time she helped a newborn learn the ropes.

Earlier in the night, after doing what she could with Yuzuru she had entered Javi’s dream again, prepared and ready for another round. She builds the mazes and Javi fills it with his own thoughts, fills it with secrets and things he wishes he could change, things that he had clung onto, whether he remembers them in the physical world or not. Dreams are very much hit or miss though, and unlike Yuzuru who tried to cling onto each of them, innately felt their importance, Javi is different, hardly remembers anything most days but not caring either way. At least he had finally remembered the maze dream with Yuzuru they had constructed and reconstructed time and time again. Talk about leading a horse to water then forcing them to drink it too.

Each night the core of the dream stays the same. Everything else around it may change. Javi might make bacon for breakfast instead, allowing himself a treat. Or maybe he’ll decide to have only coffee. Maybe he pets Effie’s head while he waits for his breakfast to finish cooking, maybe he doesn’t, but again, the important issues stay the same, repeats and repeats and repeats.

The noises from the neighbors always seep through and in every iteration Effie has gone through with Javi, Javi has always felt sad, conflicted. He wishes he could change this, Effie knows. If only Javi could remember. If only Javi didn’t want to not know. If only Javi didn’t suppress it so hard trying to forget.

It’s also true though that if Javi does nothing and it escalates into something terrible, something that can’t be undone, he’ll regret never trying. He’ll hold on and wonder what could have been if he had just offered out a hand.

She’s hopeful though, that this is the last time. She senses the breakthrough. Javi isn’t running away anymore or playing blind. He’s finally figured things out for himself. When he had rubbed her chin playfully and told her he was going to take her to the vet and actually made that appointment her hope solidified.

_“Vale,”_ she had said to him, only able to in dreamspace. _Okay._ She can’t remember how many times she’s said this to him. Again he was unfazed in the way all dreamers are, mind warping and accepting talking cats as a fact of his life. Even going so far, it seems, as to accept a Yuzuru flying with swan-like wings. It’s an imagery Javi must be very fond of because it made its nightly appearance in some iteration or other. Effie doesn’t get it. When she sees Yuzuru with wings all she wants to do is giant-size herself so she can hunt him down and eat him.

\----

It’s Friday, March 13th and when Javi opens his eyes he knows it’s his last Friday, March 13th of 2016. He feels it firmly in his chest.

He makes a smoothie for himself, something quick and messy, gulping it down all in one go. Already he’s late. He smiles to himself. That’s okay. Yuzuru likes it when he’s late. He pets Effie, scratching underneath her chin. She’s calm, docile.

“Hey sweet girl,” he says to her. “Let’s make you that appointment, huh?”

He takes out his phone, pulls up the pet hospital app, and books the appointment then and there before the thought slips away from him.

Outside, while locking his door, he meets his neighbor. After so many repeated Fridays he’d forgotten but his dream had reminded him. Heidi. They met briefly when she was moving in with her partner. She looks worse for wear but she offers him a smile all the same, pretending everything is okay.

He hangs by the door after slipping his key out. “Hey,” he says to her.

“Hey,” she says back brightly, no visible trace of a facade and Javi admits, part of him is impressed.

“I heard you guys this morning.”

Her smile falters but doesn’t fall away. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

Javi doesn’t take the out, decides to be brave. “If you ever need help just know you can always knock on my door. Or hey, if you want I can give you my number too.”

This time her smile _does_ fall away. “Look, I don’t know who you think you are but I’m fine. _We’re_ fine so you can mind your own business.”

“Maybe not now, but later? The offer will still be there for you.”

“Whatever,” she says, hurrying away and refusing to look him in the eyes.

It hurts him a little that, just over the top of her shirt at the back of her neck he spots a bruise, an ugly yellow and purple. But he’s done what he can. He offered her his help, will continue to offer her help, will keep his door open and keep an ear out to call the cops if he thinks it’s getting too dangerous but until she’s ready to leave that piece of trash partner of her’s there’s nothing else Javi can do.

Yuzuru’s words come back to him then, and he holds on, keeps them close to his chest. _Change the things you can, let go of the things you cannot._

This time around he doesn’t make any wishes. Things will fall where they fall and he’ll deal with it one thing at a time. At the club Raya tracks him down and offers his twenty back to him, only to have Javi push it back. “Nah, man, keep it. Next round’s on you. Give me something to lord you over with.”

Raya laughs at him good-naturedly, and tells him, “Okay, your loss, man.”

Molly, she flirts with him and again, he keeps a professional, polite distance.

Then it’s Gabby as they're lacing up side by side. He asks how the kitten is doing and she shows Javi the picture he has seen probably a million times by now, telling him she’s going to keep her. This time he asks her, “Have you named her?”

Gabby’s entire face lights up. “Yes, her name is Lady Fox.”

“That’s a cute name,” he says, loving the way Gabby beams. Witch or no, she can’t be that bad if Gabby loves her so much already.

The media for Yuzuru did not return and for that he’s grateful. The session could go better. It’s not good for either of them but it’s not the end of the world either. Worlds is in two weeks. They still have time.

And Yuzuru, of course Javi grabs his inhaler. He still has to try, doesn’t he? He knows now, Yuzuru doesn’t remember the way he does. Instead he remembers remnants, things like Javi’s necklace and Javi’s question, brought into his dreams with him but he never remembers to bring his damn inhaler. Of course, did it matter if it doesn’t work? But _this_ works, forcing some of his own air into Yuzuru’s lungs. It’s like giving Yuzuru a bit more of himself, a bit of his yang.

It has to work. He knows it does because it’s worked before, time and time again, unfailingly. Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Yuzuru sputters back to life, choking and gasping for air, this time in the locker room.

“Javi?” Yuzuru asks weakly, peering up at him. “I’m okay. I’m okay.”

Relief washes over him and like this, affection and love swelling in his chest, he kisses Yuzuru flush on the mouth. Yuzuru opens for him, clumsily answering Javi’s kiss before pushing Javi away.

“I have to go,” Yuzuru says, not looking him in the eye. “I have to tell mom and go to hospital. Make sure everything okay.”

Javi backs off, helps Yuzuru up with a hand, and watches him walk away. “Hey, Yuzu?”

Yuzu stops, turning back around. “Yes?”

“Will you call me later? So I know you’re okay?”

Yuzuru’s face softens. “Okay. I will.”

“And maybe,” Javi pushes. “When you’re feeling better, we can go on a date?”

Yuzuru’s breath visibly catches. The pause that ensues drag on for too long, makes Javi’s skin prickle with anxiety and doubt.

Finally, Yuzu shakes his head. “Sorry, Javi. No, I can’t.”

“Oh.” He hadn’t expected that but it’s okay. It is. It really is. Like Yuzuru had told him. There are no perfect days, only perfect moments within an imperfect day and that kiss, when Yuzuru had returned it for a brief second that had been pretty much perfect. He’ll keep that with him and cherish the memory. “It’s okay,” he assures when Yuzuru takes a worried step towards him. “Friends?”

“Always, Javi. We are like Yin and Yang. I have a piece of you with me for always and you have a piece of me with you so no way we cannot be friends.”

Balance, he thought, nodding at Yuzuru, and watches Yuzuru as he leaves, but again Yuzuru stops, this time closer to the door. Javi sees him take a deep breath, his back expanding, the lines of them tightening like he’s in fight or flight mode, and then he whips around to face Javi.

“I think about it,” Yuzuru says after he locks eyes with Javi.

Hope blooms in his chest. “Yeah?”

Yuzuru nods. “If you win gold medal at Worlds. I think about it.”

“And if I don’t win?”

Another deep breath that catches at the tail end. “I still think about it.”

Javi feels like he could float away, sure that he looks like an idiot with how wide he’s grinning. “Great! Awesome. Tomorrow, I make sure to come late and make a fool of myself on the ice, okay? Give you one of your perfect moments.”

Yuzuru reddens immediately. “How you know!? I never tell anyone! I only say in dream!”

“You dream about me, Yuzu?”

The red on his cheek darkens, flaming. He calls Javi an idiot and then he flees. Maybe Javi will tell him about it someday. He’s sure Yuzuru has his own side as well.

Later that night, five minutes before nine, Yuzuru doesn’t call but he does send a text telling him the doctor has cleared him and Javi breathes easier.

He closes his eyes, content, happy, and when he opens them again it’s Saturday, March 14th.

\----


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! Here's the last chapter!
> 
> I've tried to do justice to this great and chaotic story, so I hope you enjoy. Big thanks to Junliet for being my beta.

Javi opens his eyes, blinking once, twice. Damn, he forgot to draw the curtains last night. He turns, muscles protesting like they always do, but the smile on his face cannot be erased.

Saturday, March 14th

That’s what he reads on his phone, and he laughs. It’s past ten in the morning and he’s definitely late for training, but who cares? It’s done. That infinite repetition of Friday, March 13th is finally over. He lies in bed a little longer, a smile so big it lights up the room, and sighs. Happy, that’s what he is. That it is finally over, that he can move forward and continue his life like it was before.

Except, not quite. Because now he knows things he never stopped to think about before. He strains his neck to look at his chest and there it is: the pendant resting on his skin, rising and falling with his breathing.

Yin and Yang.

Two complementary forces that shape the universe. Black and white. Hot and cold. Day and night. Life and death. Two things that are part of a whole. Codependent of each other.

Everything that he has lived through in the endless number of Fridays has taught him something: he has to look past the surface, see past the smiles. He needs to pay more attention to details, care for the little nuances present in everyday life. He must learn to let things go, the ones he cannot change, change the ones he can.

Yuzuru’s voice telling him this still rings in his ears, talking about those dreams in which Javi asks him what his perfect day is. There are no perfect days, he had said, only perfect and imperfect moments. It’s a little frustrating sometimes, that someone three years younger seems so much wiser than him. Then again, that’s Yuzuru, isn’t it?

He smiles, sitting up on his bed and taking a deep breath before starting the hectic day ahead. His phone pings and he doesn’t need to look to know what it is. A message from Brian, asking where he is. Javi jumps off the bed, hitting his little toe on the doorframe as he runs to the living room. Effie is there, in her usual place on the sofa, curled up and peacefully enjoying the sun coming through the open curtains.

“Buenos días.” he tells her, petting her softly and enjoying her purring. He has missed it. “Today we take you to the doctor, hm? See what was wrong with you.”

She meows indignantly, and he chuckles, softly kissing the top of her head before running to make his smoothy. He throws everything into the blender and starts it, running back to the room to get dressed in record time. He makes a mess pouring the liquid on a glass, but he’ll clean it later. He’s gulping down his breakfast when he hears it, the screaming from next door, the sound of glass breaking. He winces, fighting the urge to call someone, anyone. Police, or another neighbor. Taking a deep breath, he forces himself to finish what’s left of his smoothy and gathers all his things, trying to block out the screaming.

Phone, bag, keys. He pets Effie one last time and bolts out the door. He stops for a few seconds after closing the door and waits to see if the woman next door comes out too. She doesn’t and Javi walks away. He already offered to help her yesterday, and she refused him. He knows he’ll keep trying whenever he sees her, but for now, that has to wait. He was supposed to be on the ice already and Brian is going to eat him for lunch.

He runs to the club, crashes through the doors and stops dead in his tracks when Brian gives him the most unimpressed look he has ever seen. Brian can be scary when he is angry, but this, this contained anger he knows will somehow explode is much, much worse. Still, he waits, watching Brian carefully, anticipation building in him.

“You have ten minutes to warm up and get on the ice.” his eerily calm voice says. “Or so help me I’ll drag you there myself.”

Javi has to bite his lip to keep the cheering to himself. Yes! This is what angry Brian is like when he’s over half an hour late for training. He scrambles, almost vibrating with excitement as he ties his boots, when a shadow projects over him. He looks up to find Raya there, the same friendly smile on his face.

“Hey! You’re later than usual” he comments. He’s not scolding him or looking down on him; this is just Raya’s way to ask if there’s anything wrong with him.

“I overslept.” Javi grins and they both laugh.

“Well, if you’re not too tired, old man,” Raya starts and he elbows him, “We can go out for a drink later.”

“Sure!” Javi smiles and stands, smirking at Raya before adding “You’re paying, though.”

He can hear Raya’s comment, “That’s why you let me keep them!” and he laughs. Not really, but he had told him as much yesterday.

Brian is waiting for him with that same unimpressed look and he smiles a little sheepish before stepping on the ice and seeing him fly. Triple Axel. Damn, but he is good at those. He skates around a few laps, letting his body get warm and discreetly looking over Yuzu’s things to see if he has his inhaler. He does, and Javi lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Yuzuru skates past him, turning his head to give him the tiniest smile. It has Javi greening like a fool and tripping on his toe pick like a newbie. He can feel more than see Brian facepalming, and he laughs, even when he gets scolded over and over for silly mistakes. That’s okay, he thinks, it’s fine. Boston is still two weeks away and he’ll do better the next time.

The pain is nothing he isn’t used to, but it still bothers him. He’s human, after all. He’s rubbing soothing circles on his knees when someone sits by his side and he looks up to find Gaby there, smiling at him.

“Tough day, Javi?” she asks, sympathy clear in her voice.

“A little.” he smiles and sits up, turning to the side to face her. “But it’s okay, I’ll do better on Monday. What about you?”

“I wanted to ask you something.” she says, voice a little lower than before, a little shyer.

“Uh… sure.” Javi doesn’t like the change in demeanor. “If I can help…”

“Is it always like this?” She asks, eyes huge and shining. “Am I always going to miss her so much?”

It takes him a few seconds to understand what Gaby is saying and when he does he chuckles and pats her leg amicably.

“Yes, pretty much,” he answers and thinks of Effie. Of every time he has to leave her with someone else because of his competitions, of how much time she spends alone. He feels like a douche sometimes for it. But she always greets him rubbing on his leg, purring when he pets her and nothing beats that feeling. “They grow on you and before you know it, they own you completely.”

“I came home last night and she was so happy to see me.” Gaby sighs, a bit dreamy with a soft and caring smile on her face. “Guess I can’t complain, huh?”

“Guess not,” he answers and waves as she walks away.

He takes his bottle of water and sips slowly, looking around the ice to see others training. He’s done for the day and glad about it. He still has to get home and take Effie to the vet, see what’s wrong with her. Then dinner and then he made plans with Raya. He has half a mind to cancel them because he’s beat, but the thought of Raya paying for once is much too tempting.

“Not a perfect day?” someone says behind him and he chokes on the water he was drinking. There’s a hand carefully patting his back while he coughs. “Sorry!”

He shakes his head and coughs a bit more before turning to look at Yuzuru.

“No perfect days.” Javi answers, voice a little raw from the coughing. “They don’t exist. You told me that, remember?”

“And you say you late today.” Yuzu claps back and then snorts. “Not that late.”

“I’m old and tired and I forgot to set my alarm.” Javi tells him, an over exaggerated pout on his mouth that makes Yuzuru honk a laugh. “So no guilt from the young and fabulous.”

“Yes Javi.” he says and sits. Which is weird; Yuzu usually leaves as soon as he’s done. Something about university and whatever crazy thing he’s studying. “I don’t dream today.”

Javi looks at him, pursing his lips and trying hard to contain the urge to tell Yuzuru everything that had happened in the past, what? Month, two months? But would he believe him? He’d probably laugh it off as a joke or tell him he’s crazy, and part of him is still not entirely convinced he isn’t. So, instead of possibly making himself sound like a freak, he smiles and tilts his head.

“Is that a bad thing?” he asks.

“It weird.” Yuzuru says. “Javi don’t ask me about perfect day today. And no dream.”

“Well, I thought we had talked about it yesterday.” he says, and he’s very glad Yuzu doesn’t comment on the silly little smile on his face.

Yesterday. It feels so good, being able to use that word out loud again. Friday, March 13th was yesterday. Today is Saturday, March 14th 2016.

“You’ll still think about it, right?” he asks. A little voice in his mind tells him Yuzuru won’t remember, that what happened yesterday wasn’t important. He ignores it for the one that tells him not to give up. “What we talked about yesterday?”

Yuzuru blinks once, twice and bites his lip. He gives Javi the tiniest nod and stands, a hand on Javi’s shoulder and that’s new. It’s usually the other way around.

“I say I will.” Yuzuru says, voice quiet so only Javi can hear it. “After Boston.”

And he leaves, walking carefully like he does so he doesn’t trip. Javi watches him as he disappears and smiles. A genuine smile and it feels like it’s been ages since he smiled this way.

If Javi smiles as he takes off his skates and massages his feet, if he smiles when he’s walking home and Molly waves him goodbye a tad more flirtatious than normal, if he smiles softly to his neighbour after she rejects his help again, if he smiles as the vet tells him Effie has a bruised rib and will take a while to heal, if he smiles and laughs when Raya starts saying stupid things after his third beer, well…

Can you blame him?

Yesterday was yesterday, today is today. And tomorrow…

He will worry about tomorrow when it comes. Perfect or not.

  
  


**EPILOGUE:**

The Spanish anthem rings through the arena and Javi smiles. It’s a bittersweet victory. Being crowned World champion for the second year in a row feels like a dream, a perfect dream. Everyone congratulates him for his free, he has to stop himself from patting his own back because it truly was perfect.

But the universe still needs its balance, it seems. And with his perfect skate and perfect victory, came the imperfect moment Yuzuru walks past him after bowing. No hugs, no handshakes. The cameras are gone, a dark voice in his head tells him, so there is no need to put up a front anymore.

He takes deep breaths. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. And he smiles. Because he knows he won’t stop trying, he will not back down or step away unless Yuzuru specifically tells him to.

And he does. Again, and again and again. Savoring each imperfect try because he believes with all his heart they will be part of the perfect moment Yuzuru finally says yes.

And they are.

When Yuzuru comes to him, takes his hand in the locker room the first day of training before the season and smiles. And there’s no need for words, no need for a grand gesture.

He still falls and crashes. He misses the podium at the Grand Prix Final, wins his fifth consecutive Europeans, misses the podium at Worlds.

But he takes Yuzuru out during his birthday. He’s wearing clothes better suited for January than April and he is ridiculous trying to chase the swans that just run away from him. He pulls the most disgusted face at Javi’s coffee and Javi feels a bit insulted, so he makes the same face when Yuzuru orders that bitter monstrosity he calls green tea.

And he kisses him. Softly, gently, right before they reach Yuzu’s street. It’s just a soft brush of their lips, brief and feather like.

But it’s perfect to Javi. And he hopes it is just as perfect for Yuzuru.

The universe might need balance, but it can never take away the perfect feeling of Yuzuru’s lips on Javier’s.


End file.
